You know, your day could be just fine and dandy until the moment someone, who might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, asks you something that makes you ask yourself: Did I really just hear that?
And you did. You did, sorry to disappoint you.
The responses were utterly golden (or maybe not, if you get our drift) after Redditor Swish_Fate asked the online community,
"What is the dumbest question you've been asked?"
"A coworker of mine..."
A coworker of mine, without any context, asked me, "Is Ash Wednesday this Friday?"
"During my exchange year..."
During my exchange year in the US, I was sitting in my English class and we had a few minutes until class started, when one of the guys I spoke regularily to, suddenly turns and asks me if I could speak English since I'm from Germany.
I calmly asked him in what language we had been speaking just a second ago. It was pretty hilarious and even our teacher had a good laugh with us.
In short: Guy asked me if I could speak English, while we were talking in English.
"Thankfully..."
"Are you a real black person? Your skin is too light." Thankfully it was asked by a little kid, but it was so stupid that I still laugh about that years later.
"Asked by a guy..."
Giphy"Won't they hatch?"
Asked by a guy who had just thrown out two dozen eggs that had *just* passed their expiration date. He was concerned about having 24 little chicks running around inside his refrigerator. Dude was a university-level science major.
"At the same job..."
"How do you spell TV?"
To be fair, that one came from a young kid. Here's a runner-up from a middle-aged woman in a meat shop where I used to work:
Grown Woman: "What's the difference between the cooked prawns and the raw prawns?"
Me: "... These are cooked, and these ... aren't."
GW: "But these ones are pink and these are grey."
At the same job, I was ringing up a young woman's purchases, and it turned out she didn't have enough cash to pay for them all. I suggested an item to take off that would bring the total just under what she had, but she decided to take off two, more expensive items. This brought the total down more than enough, and I gave her her change with her receipt.
Her: "Oh!" looking at her change, then pointing at the two items: "Do I have enough money for that now?"
On second thought, maybe I should have put that one first.
"When I was working..."
When I was working at my city's zoo, a woman asked me if she was at the zoo.
In order to ask me that question, this woman had to get off the train at a station called Zoo Station or drive into the parking lot on a road called Zoo Road. Then, she had to walk down a long hallway with lots of pictures of animals all with the zoo's logo (which includes the word zoo) under them, then stand in a long ass line in front a huge picture of a koala and the words "welcome to [city] zoo!" printed in three foot high letters. I was also wearing a shirt and a hat with the zoo's name and a giraffe on it when she asked me this question.
"A man walks in..."
Working in a coffee shop, around mid-afternoon. A man walks in, glances around and walks up to the counter.
Me: Hey, what can I get for you?
Him: Um. (Glances around the store more) Are you guys open?
Mostly out of confusion I also glanced around my store I saw all of the other employees clearly working, and our lobby full of people sitting/eating/drinking/etc.
Me: Yes?
"Both..."
Both come from my days in the food industry:
"What are mashed potatoes?" - a woman who was definitely old enough to vote
"Why did you ring this up as steak burrito and not a vegetarian burrito?" - a man who asked me to put steak on his burrito,
"As a 911 operator..."
As a 911 operator, a caller once asked (on an emergency line) what the weather would be like on Thanksgiving Day in a desert resort popular with off-roaders, that's located about 100 miles away from our city. It was April.
"But my all time favorite..."
From the hotel industry, favorites are generally along the theme of:
"Why didn't you tell me when I booked my reservation (six months ago) that it was going to rain today?!"
"Why is there traffic? Why didn't you warn me there'd be traffic in Manhattan?! Why can't you just tell the cops to let me through?!"
But my all time favorite was at a hotel where for various reasons, the lobby was not on the first floor. The only thing on the first floor as you come in was a bank of elevators, by which you could then reach the lobby.
Had a guest ask, in complete seriousness, "Why couldn't the taxi drop me off at the lobby? All the other hotels it drops me off at the lobby!"
All attempts to answer this were met with increasing rage on the part of the guest, because WHY COULDN'T THE TAXI COME TO THE EIGHTH FLOOR.
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