While dating is fun, trying to make a positive impression on the other person of romantic interest can be very stressful.
Regarding heterosexual males, they can sometimes try too hard when setting their sights on the endgame–which is making a woman fall in love with them in the hopes of marriage.
The guys who have wound up with their sweethearts may be the lucky ones, but it doesn't mean they narrowly avoided some missteps along the way.
Curious to hear from married guys online, Redditor TheTinRam asked:
"Married men of reddit: what was that dumb thing you did during your dating phase that you can’t believe your wife ended up overlooking?"
Nervousness leads to really awkward moments.
The Switcheroo
"I get very nervous around women that are into me and especially when I know she's watching me do something. Even something trivial."
"On an early date, we went to the local shop to pick up some things for a picnic, including some gum. I was thinking really hard and aware that I was being watched."
"I had this. Money on the counter, gum in your mouth. Money on the counter, gum in your mouth. Easy."
"Suffice to say when I put the gum on the counter and the €2 coin in my mouth, the cashier was baffled and my girlfriend (now wife) was crying with laughter."
– mehfesto
The Recommendation
"Turned her down when she suggested we go on a date. Read as: I'm super awkward"
"I was working for Starbucks, she was a regular customer. I was new in town and noticed her a couple times, she was a regular customer and we got to some small talk, chatting about places to eat. She said there's an amazing taco place down the road, we should go sometime. I misheard her, thinking she said 'you should go sometime.' I replied with 'I'll definitely check it out!' I handed her a drink and she left very awkwardly."
"She was back in the next day and, against all odds, I was able to clear up the misunderstanding and I wrote my number on her Starbucks cup."
"We went to that taco place for our first date and she was right, it was amazing."
"3 years married and 2 kids later... Really glad she saw through my awkwardness."
– MadHarryRackham
Drawing A Blank
"I forgot her name once when introducing her to a friend. This was maybe a month into our relationship. I was all like, 'hey and by the way this is.... uhhh.... my girlfriend.' "
– anon
People can survive minor accidents and still manage to love.
A Stab At Romance
"Not my story, but my parents: Some backstory - My dad has a brother who’s only a couple years older. Growing up, they’d commonly try to steal food off each other’s plates just to be a**holes to each other. This was remedied by plate guarding and defensive maneuvers with utensils if hands got too close."
"On my parent’s first date, my mom reached for something to try off my dad’s plate and he instinctively stabbed her hand with his fork - drew blood and everything. He was obviously mortified Glad my mom was crazy enough to keep dating, marry, and procreate with the fork stabber."
– mollyjean-
Broken Device
"On our second date, I arrived 1h late. When I went to greet her with a little hug (yep, that's how we greet people around here) I accidentally knocked her phone off her hand. It hit the ground and cracked the screen, but I wasn't sure if it was already cracked. I apologized, she said it was ok and that the screen was already like that before."
"Almost a year later she confessed that I actually broke her phone that day. She had just gotten it from her mom (all phones she ever had were second hand, very simple ones) and she couldn't afford a new one at the time, but still she lied and kept using the broken phone so I wouldn't feel bad. My heart sank."
"We've been married for two years now and I've given her a brand new flagship phone every year ever since."
– kohdgen
Bad dates didn't necessarily extinguish the flame of love.
"Wife was a devout animal lover and activist. Planned proposal at a fancy Tokyo restaurant that only takes 3 tables a night and has 11 courses, which was filled with all sorts of innovative things so you’re never quite sure what’s coming next."
"In between one of the courses the chef brings out a cute little glass bowl for us to play with some squid. The chef informs us these are firefly squid that’s local to the bay. My wife is delighted and practically named them."
"Two courses later they reappeared... as entrees, floating on a glass plate lit up from below and arranged to look like they’re swimming."
"She still said yes but have never let me forgot that I took her on literally the worst dining experience she had, and I had paid the most ever for."
– wooshoofoo
Devoted Fan
"Played Weird Al CDs non-stop for a 6-hour car trip to the beach."
"She didn’t ditch me but haven’t been allowed to play Weird Al in her presence for the past 24 years. Got tickets to see him this year on our anniversary and knew better than to ask her to join me so I took a couple of my kids that appreciate the finer things in life. Best anniversary gift ever. Great show."
– homepup
Speaking Too Soon
"On my first date with my wife, we got to talking about tattoos. I have a rule that if I have an idea for a tattoo, I sit on it for a while to see if I really would still want it. I mentioned this to her and explain how glad I am that I do this because otherwise I'd be covered in Tool (the band) tattoos or some 'other dumb sh*t.' She rolled up her sleeve to show me that she had the lyrics to one of their songs tattooed across her arm."
– thevagrant88
A Strong Commitment
"5 years ago, after dating for 2 weeks, I accepted a job offer on another continent. I told her we didn’t know each other well enough for me to pass up an opportunity like that and if it was meant to be, it would work itself out."
"Well, it was meant to be and we got married this spring."
– Breatnach
Long Distance Can Work
"We had a couple great dates and things were looking promising. Then I got super busy at work and didn’t contact her for about 3 and a half weeks without giving her a heads up. She decided to move during this time. After things calmed down at work I text her again. We worked things long distance and finally got married. She reminds me that I didn’t ask her out again for a very long time every few months."
– notneededjunk
Closure
"My husband kept calling me by the name of his previous girl friend on our first date. I finally told him to give her a call because they clearly had unfinished business to talk about. He did and she reminded him why he was happy to have her out of his life. And he never called me by her name again. 40 years later and it seems to have worked out in my favor."
– designgoddess
Anyone who has the capacity to overlook minor character flaws and idiosyncrasies are keepers.
If you've got someone in your life you could have lost over idiotic behavior in the past and they stuck by you through thick and thin, that says a lot about your character and that you're worth sticking around for.
If you're not there yet, don't worry. You got this. Just be yourself, and the right one will come along and embrace you for who you are, not who you're trying to be.
