Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash
Make us preferred on Google

I love a good war of words. There should be a game show based on how everyone cuts the deepest and with style.

Can you imagine winning a million dollars for telling someone off?

I could die satisified.

The perfect way to use language in an insult has become an art form.

Especially when people who deserve a good tongue lashing can't tell they're being rightfully taken to task.

Redditor da-noob-man wanted to hear all the best verbal slings we love throwing. They asked:

"What is your signature insult?"

I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.

Brainstorm

Mrw GIFGiphy

"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter

"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R

Impossible...

"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard

"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella

"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603

Say Sorry

"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22

"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV

"I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." ~ abspencer22

Kill It...

"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo

"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."

"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."

"She says..."

"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."

"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_

Envy

The Shade GIF by PepsiGiphy

"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7

"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der

Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.

Fido Lerwks...

Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy

"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman

Good Days

“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals

"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground

“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki

Bad Basics

"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea

"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh

The Great Battle

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger

"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75

"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole

Ouch

"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots

"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken

It's Me

Liar Liar Movie GIFGiphy

"I wish I was dumber so I could understand you." ~ OptimalF**kage

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Relations

"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease

"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants

IQ Stat

"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre

"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20

PERFECT

"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93

"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames

Crayola

girl GIFGiphy

"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999

"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine

The Dance

"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue

"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing

Drop It

"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng

"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524

Lead

"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga

"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075

GAS!

fart GIF by happydogGiphy

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!" ~ Mr_DuCe

So Low...

"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp

I just spit out my coffee. This has to be a game show. Y'all crazy.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshots from TikToker @user4934997299767's video
@user4934997299767/TikTok

TikToker Confronts Stranger Who Allegedly Stopped His Car To Follow Her—And Women Are Nodding Hard

Though skeptics might argue that women can safely walk around and enjoy life without a care in the world, one woman shared a video of how often that isn't true.

Originally posted on TikToker @user4934997299767's account, the woman recorded herself walking outside on a sidewalk in a wide open area, allegedly right after a man had driven past her and noticed her. He'd then made a U-turn and pulled his car over so that he could get out and follow her.

Keep ReadingShow less
Anne Hathaway
Cindy Ord/SiriusXM/Getty Images

Anne Hathaway Just Revealed That She Was Having A Panic Attack In One Of Her Most Memed Moments—And Fans Are Floored

Anne Hathaway has been involved in a lot of memes throughout her career, from looking disappointedly at an ice cream cone to her transformation as Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries becoming one of the most frequently trending sounds on TikTok.

Fortunately, not only is Hathaway aware of many of these mentions, but based on her Esquire interview opposite Star Wars star Ewan McGregor, she finds many of them quite funny.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @a_daywillcome's video
@a_daywillcome/Instagram

Woman Who Lives In High-Rise Sparks Debate After Forcing Hispanic Window Cleaner To Get Off Her Balcony in Viral Video

A woman who lives in a high-rise building called out an employee for walking on her balcony to clean her windows, and she did not get the validation she was looking for when she shared the video.

The woman started recording as she walked into her main living space, and an employee was unstrapped from the equipment used to scale the building as he cleaned her balcony windows.

Keep ReadingShow less
Tom Holland & Zendaya; Chrissy Teigen
Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images; MEGA/GC Images

Resurfaced Clip Of Zendaya's Panicked Expression After She Thought Chrissy Teigen Was About To Kiss Tom Holland Has Fans Cackling

By now, pretty much anyone who spends any time on the internet is intimately familiar with Tom Holland's iconic 2017 performance on Lip Sync Battle, emulating Rihanna and doing a barn-storming performance of "Umbrella."

For one, it's just an incredible performance. But what really makes the moment shine is Zendaya's reaction to it as she watches—many believe it's the exact moment she fell for the actor.

Keep ReadingShow less
Sam Altman
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

OpenAI CEO Ripped After Suggesting Tip For Using ChatGPT To Help Parent Your Kids—And It's So Bleak

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is desperate to push his highly unpopular product, going on talk shows to gush about its benefits and making suggestions online for how everyone can use ChatGPT in their daily lives. The tech billionaire tries hard to sell the public on AI, but his recent assertion that parents should use it to avoid speaking with their kids didn't land well.

On Friday, Altman tried to convince parents that his app, ChatGPT Work, was the answer to their parenting needs. But it read more like a cheat code for people who don't know how to interact with other humans, including their own children.

Keep ReadingShow less