Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash
Make us preferred on Google

I love a good war of words. There should be a game show based on how everyone cuts the deepest and with style.

Can you imagine winning a million dollars for telling someone off?

I could die satisified.

The perfect way to use language in an insult has become an art form.

Especially when people who deserve a good tongue lashing can't tell they're being rightfully taken to task.

Redditor da-noob-man wanted to hear all the best verbal slings we love throwing. They asked:

"What is your signature insult?"

I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.

Brainstorm

Mrw GIFGiphy

"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter

"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R

Impossible...

"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard

"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella

"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603

Say Sorry

"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22

"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV

"I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." ~ abspencer22

Kill It...

"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo

"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."

"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."

"She says..."

"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."

"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_

Envy

The Shade GIF by PepsiGiphy

"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7

"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der

Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.

Fido Lerwks...

Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy

"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman

Good Days

“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals

"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground

“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki

Bad Basics

"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea

"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh

The Great Battle

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger

"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75

"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole

Ouch

"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots

"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken

It's Me

Liar Liar Movie GIFGiphy

"I wish I was dumber so I could understand you." ~ OptimalF**kage

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Relations

"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease

"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants

IQ Stat

"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre

"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20

PERFECT

"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93

"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames

Crayola

girl GIFGiphy

"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999

"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine

The Dance

"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue

"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing

Drop It

"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng

"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524

Lead

"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga

"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075

GAS!

fart GIF by happydogGiphy

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!" ~ Mr_DuCe

So Low...

"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp

I just spit out my coffee. This has to be a game show. Y'all crazy.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

'The Craft' cast, including Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Rachel True and Neve Campbell
Columbia Pictures/Getty Images

'The Craft' Star Speaks Out After New Bratz Dolls Were Sent To Influencers But Not Original Cast

Bratz enthusiasts have a lot to be excited about right now, as a new collection of the dolls have rolled out, this time inspired specifically by the original cast of the 1996 horror film The Craft, from which Bratz dolls came to be.

But just because it's an exciting campaign doesn't mean it's perfect.

Keep ReadingShow less
Trick-or-treating
The Boston Globe/Getty Images

HOA Sparks Debate After Sending Letter Telling People Not To Hand Out Full-Size Candy Bars On Halloween

Within our communities, it's important to make everyone feel welcome and included, and sometimes that means making changes so that everyone can afford to be included. But sometimes changes are made simply because someone with the power to change it doesn't want to do something.

The question is whether changes are being made for inclusivity or convenience.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @serena_loscalzo's TikTok
@serena_loscalzo/TikTok

College President Goes Above And Beyond To Help Student Prank Her Chronically Oversleeping Roommate

University of Vermont President Marlene Tromp and UVM student Hannah Lapier have gone viral after their fabulous wake-up call—and fortunately not the negative, reality-check kind!

Lapier opened up to her roommate, Serena LoScalzo, about struggling to get out of bed in the morning for her classes. Lapier prompted her friend to use any means necessary to help her make it to her morning classes on time, because she wanted to take school seriously.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @itsvictoriavega's TikTok
@itsvictoriavega/TikTok

Woman Sounds Off About 'Worst First Date Of My Life' After Guy Made Truly Unhinged Request

There are bad first dates, there are the worst first dates ever, and then there are the dates that are so terrible, you can't help but wonder how they occurred in the first place.

TikToker Victoria Vega, for example, went on a first date with a guy after what she thought was a promising start, but when she actually went on the date, it was nothing like she'd expected. In fact, she called it the worst first date of her life.

Keep ReadingShow less
TikToker Kae; Walmart storefront
@lolxdlolxdlolxd23455/TikTok; Douglas Rissing/Getty Images

Fired TikToker Shares Bonkers Behind-The-Scene Stories About What It Was Like Working At Walmart

Whether or not we've ever worked there, we've all heard horror stories and seen internet memes about "people at Walmart" and the weird things that often happen within the oversized chain convenience store.

TikToker Kae, or @lolxdlolxdlolxd23455 on the platform, worked at Walmart for more than six months and ultimately was fired because he'd accidentally logged his PTO time incorrectly and also requested multiple days off,—but he'd intended to quit anyway given his unpleasant time working there.

Keep ReadingShow less