Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash
Make us preferred on Google

I love a good war of words. There should be a game show based on how everyone cuts the deepest and with style.

Can you imagine winning a million dollars for telling someone off?

I could die satisified.

The perfect way to use language in an insult has become an art form.

Especially when people who deserve a good tongue lashing can't tell they're being rightfully taken to task.

Redditor da-noob-man wanted to hear all the best verbal slings we love throwing. They asked:

"What is your signature insult?"

I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.

Brainstorm

Mrw GIFGiphy

"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter

"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R

Impossible...

"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard

"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella

"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603

Say Sorry

"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22

"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV

"I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." ~ abspencer22

Kill It...

"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo

"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."

"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."

"She says..."

"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."

"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_

Envy

The Shade GIF by PepsiGiphy

"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7

"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der

Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.

Fido Lerwks...

Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy

"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman

Good Days

“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals

"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground

“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki

Bad Basics

"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea

"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh

The Great Battle

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger

"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75

"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole

Ouch

"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots

"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken

It's Me

Liar Liar Movie GIFGiphy

"I wish I was dumber so I could understand you." ~ OptimalF**kage

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Relations

"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease

"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants

IQ Stat

"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre

"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20

PERFECT

"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93

"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames

Crayola

girl GIFGiphy

"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999

"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine

The Dance

"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue

"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing

Drop It

"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng

"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524

Lead

"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga

"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075

GAS!

fart GIF by happydogGiphy

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!" ~ Mr_DuCe

So Low...

"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp

I just spit out my coffee. This has to be a game show. Y'all crazy.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Omar Jimenez and Nancy Mace from CNN interview
CNN

Nancy Mace Gets Blunt Civics Lesson After Claiming Every Muslim Elected Official Is A 'Trojan Horse'

South Carolina Republican Representative Nancy Mace was called out by CNN anchor Omar Jimenez for her lack of understanding of the First Amendment after she published a series of Islamophobic tweets, including one referring to every Muslim elected official in the country as a "Trojan horse."

Mace's posts came after Abdul El-Sayed won Michigan's Democratic primary for U.S. Senate. El-Sayed, a physician who campaigned on expanding healthcare access, strengthening the economy, and ending unconditional U.S. military aid to Israel, became the first progressive to win a statewide primary in a state carried by President Donald Trump in the 2024 election. He is set to face former Republican Congressman Mike Rogers in November.

Keep ReadingShow less
Bill Cassidy; Donald Trump
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images; Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

GOP Senator Hit With Brutal Reminder After Slamming Trump Over Executive Order To Break Up MMR Vaccine

Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassidy was criticized for voting to confirm Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) after he spoke out against President Donald Trump's executive order recommending that the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine be broken up into separate shots.

The new policy would recommend giving the MMR vaccine as three individual injections rather than as a combined shot, while also spacing childhood vaccinations across separate doctor visits.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
@atrupar/X

Trump Slammed After Claiming Infants Get Vaccines The 'Size Of A Bottle Of Soda' In Unhinged Rant

In the latest move toward promoting conspiracy theories and anti-vaxxer pseudoscience over legitimate research, MAGA Republican President Donald Trump signed an executive order titled Delivering Gold Standard Childhood Vaccine Recommendations for Americans.

The signing ceremony was attended by members of his administration and other guests, including anti-vax activist and Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., White House policy advisor and Project 2025 architect Stephen Miller, and health economist and controversial National Institutes of Health Director and acting Centers for Disease Control Director Jay Bhattacharya, who attended medical school but never practiced medicine.

Keep ReadingShow less
Ryan Reynolds; Janice and Jeff Ivey
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images; Jeff Ivey

Ryan Reynolds Has Hilarious One-Liner After Texas Couple Moves To Wrexham After Being Inspired By His Reality Show

After watching Welcome to Wrexham on Disney+ and visiting Wales seven times in the past two years, Texas couple Jeff and Janice Ivey decided to make the big move from Texas to Wrexham.

The docuseries stars Ryan Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Rob McElhenney, and the Wrexham soccer team, and it showcased a sense of community that the couple loved. Since Jeff has UK citizenship thanks to Scottish ancestry, the Iveys decided to put it to good use to visit various places in Wales, focusing their time on Wrexham.

Keep ReadingShow less
Brooke Shields on @grier_henchy's TikTok
@grier_henchy/TikTok

Brooke Shields Offers Iconic Clapbacks After Daughter Hops On 'Bully' TikTok Trend To Jokingly Mock Her Gray Hair And Wrinkles

A lot of trends that get popular on TikTok are mean-spirited, in most people's opinion, and now there's a "bully trend" going around in which people say unkind, critical things to a friend or family member and give them a chance to clap back.

When her daughter Grier approached her with the trend, Brooke Shields was ready.

Keep ReadingShow less