I love a good war of words. There should be a game show based on how everyone cuts the deepest and with style.
Can you imagine winning a million dollars for telling someone off?
I could die satisified.
The perfect way to use language in an insult has become an art form.
Especially when people who deserve a good tongue lashing can't tell they're being rightfully taken to task.
Redditor da-noob-man wanted to hear all the best verbal slings we love throwing. They asked:
"What is your signature insult?"
I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.
Brainstorm
Mrw GIFGiphy"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter
"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R
Impossible...
"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard
"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella
"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603
Say Sorry
"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22
"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV
Kill It...
"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo
"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."
"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."
"She says..."
"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."
"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_
Envy
The Shade GIF by PepsiGiphy"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7
"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der
Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.
Fido Lerwks...
Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman
Good Days
“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals
"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground
“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki
Bad Basics
"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea
"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh
The Great Battle
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger
"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75
"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole
Ouch
"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots
"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken
Liar Liar Movie GIFThese Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...Relations
"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease
"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants
IQ Stat
"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre
"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20
PERFECT
"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93
"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames
Crayola
girl GIFGiphy"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999
"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine
The Dance
"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue
"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing
Drop It
"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng
"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524
Lead
"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga
"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075
fart GIF by happydogSo Low...
"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp
