Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson—astrophysicist and planetary scientist—hosted the 2014 reboot of Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, on Fox and the National Geographic Channel. He also is Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space in New York, New York.
So, when the United States government decided to release a report detailing the last 100 UFO (unidentified flying object) sightings, Dr. Tyson had some thoughts.
He shared them on Twitter, of course.
He posted:
"The search for Aliens on Earth has been crowdsourced to three-billion internet-connected smartphones around the World."
"If our best evidence for visitors from another planet is monochromatic low-resolution, fuzzy video taken by the USNavy, then there's more work to be done here."
The search for Aliens on Earth has been crowdsourced to three-billion internet-connected smartphones around the World.\n\nIf our best evidence for visitors from another planet is monochromatic low-resolution, fuzzy video taken by the USNavy, then there's more work to be done here.pic.twitter.com/DEuxoNKBrM— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624911660
Clearly Tyson was unimpressed with the Navy's photography skills.
Still, the science educator had a few tips up his sleeve for the abductee eager to be believed.
He suggested:
"If a UFO beams you up, steal a gizmo [from] the Alien's shelf when it's not looking."
"Bring that to the lab—you'll need it to supplement your eyewitness testimony."
If a UFO beams you up, steal a gizmo fom the Alien\u2019s shelf when it\u2019s not looking.\n\nBring that to the lab \u2014 you\u2019ll need it to supplement your eyewitness testimony.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624910820
He added for those unhappy with his skepticism:
"Ready to resume the posting of all my Space Alien Tweets since 2009."
"But some of you didn't like them. You're not obligated to, but you can always unfollow me."
"Or just avert your eyes for the rest of today."
Ready to resume the posting of all my Space Alien Tweets since 2009.\n\nBut some of you didn\u2019t like them. You\u2019re not obligated to, but you can always unfollow me.\n\nOr just avert your eyes for the rest of today.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624901233
Tyson added a bit of sound advice about meeting an alien and assumptions about anatomy.
"If I ever met a Space Alien, I'd resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy."
If I ever met a Space Alien, I\u2019d resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624841580
Then he shared some thoughts on the impression humans might make on outside observers.
"Space Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & resources, would surely ask,"
"'What the f*%k is wrong with you?'"
"After which, they'd return to their home planet, declaring there is no sign of intelligent life on Earth."
Space Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & resources, would surely ask,\n\n\u201cWhat the f*%k is wrong with you?"\n\nAfter which, they'd return to their home planet, declaring there is no sign of intelligent life on Earth.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624911300
He finished up in the best way possible for a father of two—a groan-worthy dad joke:
"Gotta end with a Dad-joke…
"Q: What do you call embryotic Space Aliens?"
"A: Eggstra-terrestrials."
Gotta end with a Dad-joke\u2026\n\nQ: What do you call embryotic Space Aliens?\n\nA: Eggstra-terrestrials.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624912200
That of course lead to other jokes...
As long as you crack it right— Barry says vote for Scary Gary (@Barry says vote for Scary Gary) 1624912343
Best Alien joke ever:pic.twitter.com/PUsDpBT8Is— Obi Wan Two Three (@Obi Wan Two Three) 1624912304
Two aliens sitting in a pub. Alien1: "What do u think of our new neighbours?" Alien2: "I don't think these humans will last long - they evolved yesterday and already think this is their universe and their planet - lol"— Renier P. du Plessis (@Renier P. du Plessis) 1624916209
What is money called in space?\n- Star-Bucks\n\nWhy did the cow become an astronaut?\n- To see the milky-way— \ud83c\udf0b\ud83c\udf0b DeepBlueCrypto \ud83c\udf0b\ud83c\udf0b (@\ud83c\udf0b\ud83c\udf0b DeepBlueCrypto \ud83c\udf0b\ud83c\udf0b) 1624912434
A galaxy and a comet go into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve the comet, but as for the galaxy, you're barred. Furthermore you're appearance is a disgrace compared to your friend." The galaxy replied, "That's not fair, I'm just a Messier object".— Guthers (@Guthers) 1624914574
Although not everyone was a fan.
pic.twitter.com/s3URGjvdKk— ULUG'BEK\u2077 (@ULUG'BEK\u2077) 1624913634
Some people decided to provide comparisons in technology.
How much does your phone cost and how much does that jet cost— Waking up (@Waking up) 1625046082
The following is a normal plane filmed with my smartphone, which I could see clearly with my naked eyes...\nThey are not made to capture objects far away, and definitely not at night.pic.twitter.com/Yd2D2mjaut— UAP Research (Per \u00c5) (@UAP Research (Per \u00c5)) 1624912000
Dude... its infrared...\n\nIf it was a high resolution photograph, you'd argue that it's cgi or a fake.\n\nBy capturing these objects on radar and infrared, it demonstrates that these objects are 'real' and not an intentional fake— Steven Chennault (@Steven Chennault) 1624912223
pic.twitter.com/Pq83BSHA6d— Darius Allen (@Darius Allen) 1624911728
Ouch...
Others decided to get scientific in their approach to why we don't have good photos of interstellar visitors.
Or maybe they just watched a lot of Star Trek.
Romulan cloaking device, anyone?
No offense, but if an alien species achieved interstellar travel, I wouldn't find it too far a stretch to imagine they have some unforeseen cloaking or imaging distortion capabilities to not be seen as anything more than an amorphous blip.— Cornelius (@Cornelius) 1624911938
In the end, Tyson reminded us to keep our eyes skyward and look to the experts:
- SETI Institute - search for extraterrestrial intelligence
- DoD - Department of Defense
As you can tell, I think about Aliens often. But not as much as my colleagues do at the @SETIInstitute. \n\nA shout-out to https://www.seti.org\u00a0 for their decades of work in this field, and to the US @DeptofDefense, for looking up, while the rest of are looking down.pic.twitter.com/4EWwcvYS38— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson) 1624912860
Keeping looking up everyone, you never know what you might see...
Just make sure you don't shake any alien's "hand."
You don't know what that thing is or where it's been.