Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dad Finds Map That His Teen Daughter Is 'Working On', And Some Of The New Additions Are Hilariously Alarming

Dad Finds Map That His Teen Daughter Is 'Working On', And Some Of The New Additions Are Hilariously Alarming
@craigcalcaterra/Twitter; @BeauTFC/Twitter

The children are our future, as they say.

And in some cases, they're up to some truly absurdist genius.

Case in point: NBC Sports writer Craig Calcaterra's 16-year-old daughter Anna.


Calcaterra recently discovered his daughter is either a skilled comedian, a mad genius, or maybe both—and will definitely be taking over the world one day. She's been working on a map that fundamentally reshapes the Western hemisphere, triggers multiple wars and also gives us a second Ohio, and it is... well, it's something.

As Calcaterra relayed on Twitter, it all began with the simplest of parental questions: "Got any homework?"

And well...

Just your average map, just a fun doodle from a teenager's sketchbook.

Until you look closer and do the reading...

@craigcalcaterra/Twitter

Honestly, it's hard to discern whether Calcaterra's daughter needs to be stopped because she's using her genius for evil, or if she's the leader we've all been waiting for. Who's to say?

Because a lot of her proposals seem totally reasonable. 

Like combining Vermont and New Hampshire just makes sense. So does melding the Dakotas.

Less clutter.

Giphy

And swapping the Virginias seems fair.

West Virginia's been in Virginia's shadow all this time, so why not switch it around and let West Virginia have a chance to shine?

Giphy

And letting Florida secede, well... we can probably all get behind that.

It's already its own world in practice anyway.

Giphy

But increasing the size of both Texas and Idaho—such that it takes over not just the middle of the US but a huge swath of Canada too? By unanimous vote‽‽

Utter madness.

And not just because Oklahoma loses its cute panhandle in the process.

Giphy

And this whole Long Chile thing is... it's just...

Giphy

And A SECOND OHIO?

We have enough on our hands with the first one.

Giphy

Anyway, as you might expect, folks on Twitter had lots to say about Anna's new world order.





The Ohio thing definitely raised some eyebrows.




As did Canada's seeming acquiescence to Anna's imperialism.



And that whole thing about the Dakotas had people scratching their heads...

But Anna herself quickly put this all to rest.


@craigcalcaterra/Twitter


Giphy

Well, that's that.

Anna is our Queen now and that's the end of it.

Long may she reign over Long Chile and all eastward territories from sea to shining East Virginia, or whatever.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Woman relaxing in sunhat and sunglasses
Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash

People Explain Which 'Small Luxuries' They Can't Live Without

Many of us have committed to being fairly financially frugal and not overspending on silly, unnecessary things.

That is to say, sometimes, it's fun to splurge on something one time to see what it's like to experience that small luxury.

Keep ReadingShow less
two women in emotional distress seated on couch
Ben White on Unsplash

People Who've Experienced Grief Share The Most Tone-Deaf Things They've Heard

Grief, loss, trauma are all part of life. But for most people, the emotions and reactions that go with them are difficult to witness.

So they rely on platitudes to fill any holes in conversation. That's rarely a good idea.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Mehmet Eser/Middle East Images/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Demands 'Boss Of AT&T' Fix Equipment After Failed Conference Call In Bizarre Meltdown

When most of us have technical difficulties, we contact tech support or customer service.

But if you're President of the United States, just ranting on social media—then having your White House Press Secretary post a screenshot of your post on a social media platform people actually use—is apparently the answer.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Lauren Boebert speaking to Alex Stein
Prime Time with Alex Stein/Blaze Media

Lauren Boebert Casts Doubt On Moon Landing During Wild Interview With Conspiracy Theorist

Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert was criticized after she seemingly agreed with the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked in a wide-ranging interview with conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Stein.

The segment began with the duo casting doubt on nuclear weapons—Boebert even joked about needing "tin foil"—and moved into weirder territory when Stein praised Boebert for "vibing" with him on the topic of the moon landing. Conspiracy theorists have long alleged the moon landing was fabricated by NASA in what they claim was an elaborate hoax.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rosie O'Donnell; Oprah Winfrey
Simon Ackerman/Getty Images; Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images

Rosie O'Donnell Calls Out Oprah For Attending Jeff Bezos' Wedding In Scathing Poem

Among the various celebrity hangers-on who attended Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's Venice wedding, the one that seemed to generate the most controversy was Oprah Winfrey.

After all, a woman known for her progressive politics whose entire ethos is about teaching people how to be their best selves, attending the wedding of man who directly funded a fascist regime dismantling our country before our eyes doesn't exactly add up.

Keep ReadingShow less