Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dad Finds Map That His Teen Daughter Is 'Working On', And Some Of The New Additions Are Hilariously Alarming

Dad Finds Map That His Teen Daughter Is 'Working On', And Some Of The New Additions Are Hilariously Alarming
@craigcalcaterra/Twitter; @BeauTFC/Twitter

The children are our future, as they say.

And in some cases, they're up to some truly absurdist genius.

Case in point: NBC Sports writer Craig Calcaterra's 16-year-old daughter Anna.


Calcaterra recently discovered his daughter is either a skilled comedian, a mad genius, or maybe both—and will definitely be taking over the world one day. She's been working on a map that fundamentally reshapes the Western hemisphere, triggers multiple wars and also gives us a second Ohio, and it is... well, it's something.

As Calcaterra relayed on Twitter, it all began with the simplest of parental questions: "Got any homework?"

And well...

Just your average map, just a fun doodle from a teenager's sketchbook.

Until you look closer and do the reading...

@craigcalcaterra/Twitter

Honestly, it's hard to discern whether Calcaterra's daughter needs to be stopped because she's using her genius for evil, or if she's the leader we've all been waiting for. Who's to say?

Because a lot of her proposals seem totally reasonable.

Like combining Vermont and New Hampshire just makes sense. So does melding the Dakotas.

Less clutter.

Giphy

And swapping the Virginias seems fair.

West Virginia's been in Virginia's shadow all this time, so why not switch it around and let West Virginia have a chance to shine?

Giphy

And letting Florida secede, well... we can probably all get behind that.

It's already its own world in practice anyway.

Giphy

But increasing the size of both Texas and Idaho—such that it takes over not just the middle of the US but a huge swath of Canada too? By unanimous vote‽‽

Utter madness.

And not just because Oklahoma loses its cute panhandle in the process.

Giphy

And this whole Long Chile thing is... it's just...

Giphy

And A SECOND OHIO?

We have enough on our hands with the first one.

Giphy

Anyway, as you might expect, folks on Twitter had lots to say about Anna's new world order.





The Ohio thing definitely raised some eyebrows.




As did Canada's seeming acquiescence to Anna's imperialism.



And that whole thing about the Dakotas had people scratching their heads...

But Anna herself quickly put this all to rest.


@craigcalcaterra/Twitter


Giphy

Well, that's that.

Anna is our Queen now and that's the end of it.

Long may she reign over Long Chile and all eastward territories from sea to shining East Virginia, or whatever.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshot of Lisa and Dr. Mehmet Oz
The Katie Miller Podcast

Dr. Oz Accidentally Tells The Truth About The Trump Administration's Gaslighting—And Yeah, That Tracks

Speaking on the podcast of former Trump administration official Katie Miller, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Trump's administrator of the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, accidentally told the truth about the administration's gaslighting of the American public.

Oz admitted that people "might not like us" but then had a Freudian slip that says all you need to know about an administration that is called out on a daily basis for openly lying and obfuscating.

Keep ReadingShow less
Karoline Leavitt
Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images

Karoline Leavitt Gets Awkward Reminder After Claiming Anything On Truth Social Is 'Directly From President Trump'

During the Wednesday press briefing, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt directly contradicted her boss, MAGA Republican President Donald Trump.

Leavitt told the White House press corps:

Keep ReadingShow less
Keke Palmer attends the 8th Annual American Black Film Festival Honors at SLS Hotel.
Savion Washington/WireImage via Getty Images

Keke Palmer Explains Why She's 'Almost 100% Sure' She's Asexual In Candid Post—And Fans Are Here For Her

Keke Palmer had the internet talking after revealing she is “almost 100 percent sure” that she’s asexual. The Emmy-winning actress shared the revelation in a sultry Valentine’s Day Instagram post featuring a chic pixie cut, a champagne-toned halter corset top, a thin gold necklace, and stud earrings.

But while the photos turned heads, it was her caption that sparked the conversation.

Keep ReadingShow less
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; Brad Reese's Open Letter to Todd Scott
Julia Ewan/TWP/Getty Images; Brad Reese/LinkedIn

Grandson Of Reese's Founder Shames Hershey Co. For 'Replacing' Candy's Iconic Ingredients In Powerful Open Letter

Brad Reese, the grandson of H.B. Reese, who invented Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, is now speaking up about the quality of the product and his grandfather's original promise: real peanut butter and real milk chocolate.

When H.B. Reese invented the deliciously simple candy, he pointed out that using real ingredients wasn't a marketing tactic for him; it was a promise to the consumer that they knew what they were eating, and that what they were eating was real food.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk
Harun Ozalp/Anadolu via Getty Images

X User Asks What The First Thing You'd Do If You 'Wake Up As Elon Musk'—And Everyone Had The Same Idea

Billionaire Elon Musk was widely mocked on his own platform after X user @buffys opened a veritable Pandora's box by asking what people would do if they woke up as him one day.

The question was simple:

Keep ReadingShow less