The children are our future, as they say.
And in some cases, they're up to some truly absurdist genius.
Case in point: NBC Sports writer Craig Calcaterra's 16-year-old daughter Anna.
Calcaterra recently discovered his daughter is either a skilled comedian, a mad genius, or maybe both—and will definitely be taking over the world one day. She's been working on a map that fundamentally reshapes the Western hemisphere, triggers multiple wars and also gives us a second Ohio, and it is... well, it's something.
As Calcaterra relayed on Twitter, it all began with the simplest of parental questions: "Got any homework?"
And well...
Just your average map, just a fun doodle from a teenager's sketchbook.
Until you look closer and do the reading...
@craigcalcaterra/Twitter
Honestly, it's hard to discern whether Calcaterra's daughter needs to be stopped because she's using her genius for evil, or if she's the leader we've all been waiting for. Who's to say?
Because a lot of her proposals seem totally reasonable.
Like combining Vermont and New Hampshire just makes sense. So does melding the Dakotas.
Less clutter.
And swapping the Virginias seems fair.
West Virginia's been in Virginia's shadow all this time, so why not switch it around and let West Virginia have a chance to shine?
And letting Florida secede, well... we can probably all get behind that.
It's already its own world in practice anyway.
But increasing the size of both Texas and Idaho—such that it takes over not just the middle of the US but a huge swath of Canada too? By unanimous vote‽‽
Utter madness.
And not just because Oklahoma loses its cute panhandle in the process.
Giphy
And this whole Long Chile thing is... it's just...
And A SECOND OHIO?
We have enough on our hands with the first one.
Anyway, as you might expect, folks on Twitter had lots to say about Anna's new world order.
The Ohio thing definitely raised some eyebrows.
As did Canada's seeming acquiescence to Anna's imperialism.
And that whole thing about the Dakotas had people scratching their heads...
But Anna herself quickly put this all to rest.
@craigcalcaterra/Twitter
Well, that's that.
Anna is our Queen now and that's the end of it.
Long may she reign over Long Chile and all eastward territories from sea to shining East Virginia, or whatever.
