Content Warning: Abuse, Neglect, Emotional Abuse, Estrangement
Cutting ties with people, whether family members or friends, is never easy, and this choice should never be made lightly.
Despite how hard it can be to walk away from these people, it can actually make a world of difference, and that's a world for the better.
Curious, Redditor lilbrogotguap asked:
"Did cutting off that particular person make life better? How so?"
Take Away The Opportunity
"Yes. The only way to stop my dad hurting me was to stop giving him opportunities to do so. He was never going to change. He was never going to be a good person. He was always going to be cruel, spiteful, and emotionally unstable."
"I don’t feel any guilt or sadness. I don’t miss him. I feel… relief. I still struggle with insomnia, but it’s easier to sleep knowing that he is out of my life and he can’t hurt me anymore. The first night I realized that I was safe, I felt all the anxiety flow out of me in a rush and I passed out from sheer exhaustion."
- werewere-kokako
A Weight Off The Shoulders
"Indeed. I used to feel anxious and cautious around them all the time, but now I feel content and free."
"Resolving a toxic relationship is like removing a weighty bag you were unaware you were carrying. Without them, life is so much better and lighter."
- 2000Desolate_Despair
No More Phone Calls
"Yes. I was her best friend, but she proved over and over that she wasn't really mine. Finally, I stopped forgiving her for it."
"I no longer took her calls to come rescue her. I took the attention I had always given her and focused it back on my family. Best decision I ever made."
- RapscallionMonkee
Not Taking You Out
"If you have toxic parents, it's okay to cut them out. Just because they brought you into this world doesn't mean you owe them anything, and they don't get the right to destroy your mental health!"
- Ashesandends
Recognize The Poison
"Absolutely. Remember kids, sometimes what a parent calls 'love' is actually poison, and when you stop accepting it, life becomes something wonderful."
"Live your life for yourself. You have to live in your body and deal with the consequences of your actions, so don’t let anybody bully you into what they think you are. Be you."
- Odd-Comfortable-6134
A Shift In Mindset
"No, she still lives rent-free in my head, so now I only get the downs none of the ups."
- asbog1
"It can take time to process through things. You’ll get there."
"I became aware my ex-best friend was hurting me emotionally and that she didn’t care to change anything when I told her I was hurting. She just justified it as trying to help me. So I told her I couldn’t be friends currently."
"Then she began to be overtly cruel in the things she said, which at the time confused me because I’m a very honest and trusting person, so I was trying hard to see it from her point of view. I was wounded by her words but used them to say, 'Sounds like ending the friendship is right for both of us.'"
"That was over a year ago, and I spent a lot of time replaying things in my head, untangling it all. I began to see she probably didn’t have the friendship skills to support me like I had supported her, but more importantly, she had said those things to punish me for asserting myself. It helped me realize it was confirmation that I don’t want someone who chooses to hurt others in my life."
My replaying what happened began to be more about trying to work out if I was fair and acted according to my values, and whether I could have done anything differently. A year later, I am sure I made the right decision, I am confident that I handled it to the best of my ability, her reaction to my hurt proved I made the right call, and I have peace."
"I hope you find peace too."
- a_harpy
That Darn Boat
"I don't have to tow his f**king boat down to the club every weekend of the sailing season, so that's a win. It took wifey longer to realize that her dad was a narcissist, but hey... we got there in the end."
- dug99
A Fresh Start
"I broke up with my entire toxic family, and my life improved after that. No more drama and problems that are not mine."
- VampiricGamerCat
Incredible Peace
"It was a decision that I will never forget. I'm having more peace of mind than I could ever imagine."
- AllyAlden
"Yes, less drama and more peace of mind."
- Ok_Pool8129
Room For Your Own Thoughts
"Cutting off that particular person was like finally getting rid of the dead weight. Suddenly, my mental clarity skyrocketed, and I could hear my own thoughts without the constant background noise of their negativity."
"It’s amazing how much lighter life feels when you’re not dragging someone else's drama around like it's your weekly chore!"
- Otherwise-Alfalfa867
A Much Quieter Space
"It was multiple people, and yes. Way better off. Also turned off most social media besides Reddit. Would recommend."
- Afrojones66
"Same, so much better without the noise of social media."
- Straight_Sun_8353
Fewer Panic Attacks
"Yes, I cut my mom and sister off, and although it was hard I feel like a weight has been lifted. I no longer have to get panic attacks when I see their names pop up on my phone cause they’re blocked."
- Late-Evidence2926
Even Better Financially
"Oh h**l, yes. H**l yes. He was draining my bank account dry, asking to borrow money that he could not return, and guilt-tripping me when I didn't want to lend it. Trying to make me his ATM so he could take his side piece to expensive restaurants to show off (he denied this)."
"I used to be a doormat and felt bad for denying him the help. Trying to talk to him sapped all my energy, because he kept turning it around on me and using manipulative tactics like love-bombing and emotional blackmail. And I was dealing with my grandad's passing and grandmother's cancer diagnosis at the same time, so I was emotionally drained to the point where I was ready to give up and let him have the money, just so I would have one less problem to deal with."
"I just gave up entirely and stopped replying to him after another quarrel. I just... couldn't. I didn't actually make a conscious choice to cut him off; I just died inside. But it was the best thing I could have done, my mental health slowly picked up and I'm doing better without him. Not to mention my bank account is no longer in the negative (I lost eight months' income thanks to him)."
- imtiredandwannanap
Like A Goodbye Gift
"They cut contact with me. I got upset, but my husband's response was, 'But that's a good thing, right?'"
" It was hard to see at the time, but he was right. I used to wake up with daily headaches and those stopped. My skin cleared up and my hair became fuller."
"It used to be a constant stream of crisis here, fire to put out there, and a fight to resolve over there, and oh look! Another crisis. Now life is calm. If an issue comes up, it gets resolved and then it's calm again."
"I wasn't supposed to respect the no contact and was supposed to beg for forgiveness, but I'm okay with respecting no contact."
- ShirwillJack
A Mental And Emotional Amputation
"There's a recurring theme in this thread of profound relief when they're gone. The people I've amputated from my life, I definitely mourned them all some, but they all had various messes they were in from people who weren't friends and refused to put up with their s**t."
"There's such a weight lifted from your soul when you realize 'their problems are no longer my problems.' You can focus on working on and helping yourself more when the show they think they star in is canceled."
- Should_Not_Comment
As hard as it might be to let go of the toxic people in our lives, these Redditors make it clear that relief can be found beyond saying goodbye and making amends with the choice we never should have had to make. We might wish that we never had to separate ourselves from other people, but sometimes, they really give us no other choice when we deserve better.
