While no relationship is perfect, there are definitely some amazing relationships and marriages out there. After all, #RelationshipGoals had to be inspired by someone!
But that doesn't mean those couples have never done anything questionable or, dare we say... creepy.
Bracing themselves, Redditor NKVDKGBFBI asked:
"Married Redditors, what is the creepiest thing your spouse has ever done?"
Sleeptalking With A Twist
"My husband sometimes talks in his sleep. He learned Latin as a child and will just start speaking it at like three in the morning."
- amandasbanana
"My husband and I were asleep when I was awoken to my husband sitting up with his finger to his lip, going, 'Shhh.'"
"So naturally I said, 'Why are you saying 'shhh'?"
"And he deada** pointed to the dark corner of the room and said, 'Because that man over there wants you to be quiet.' It still gives me the chills."
- Free_Bingo
Stalk The Stalk
"He out-stalked my stalker."
"On one hand, it was great that he was able to get the stalker to back off because the police refused to do anything but say, 'we feel your life isn't at risk,' but it was also definitely the creepiest thing my husband ever did."
- 2baverage
A Phantom Box Of Spiders
"One night, I was drifting off to sleep when my husband suddenly shot up in bed, swiping at his arms."
"I asked him what was wrong. He said the spiders were on his arms. What spiders, you may ask?"
"The spiders that dream-me apparently threw a box of at him."
"He also told me that it was very rude to throw boxes of spiders at people."
"He also told me that I wasn't allowed to sell our daughter. Which was very nice but I wasn't going to sell her. Again, that would also be very rude."
- Pandas_are_cute_56
Blanket Hogs
"It doesn’t feel creepy now, but it did then: my husband sat bolt upright in bed, still asleep, in the middle of the night, and rummaged on the floor to find a small blanket."
"He then fluffed that blanket over me and stole the entire comforter out from under it. Immediately back to snoring."
- rampagingsheep
"That is adorable and hilarious. If he is still a blanket hog, I can say from experience that separate blankets/comforters are a game changer."
- Least-Task276
An Almost Accident
"My wife was sleeping in the passenger seat on a late-night drive home from visiting her family. Our very young kids are in the back seats out cold too."
"She suddenly snaps up and grabs the wheel screaming something about how I, the totally awake and driving just fine driver, am about to drive us off a cliff. She was full-strength trying to turn the wheel to the right, which would have been bad."
"I started yelling, 'No NO NO!!' Quickly realizing that wasn't stopping her I had to full-on NBA rebound the wheel with my elbows way out, and shove her very hard back into her seat. I managed to get a hold of her upper arm and used it to shove her into the door when she apparently still hadn't realized the reality of the situation and made another grab for the wheel."
"There was a lot of cursing and screaming. It was not pretty."
"Once she figured out what she had done, she lost it and started gasp-crying worse than I've ever seen."
"The rest of the drive home was pretty rough. She sobbed basically the whole time and tried to argue with me about how awful of a wife and mother she was."
- Bgrngod
A Funny Conversation
"I woke up once and he was laughing in his sleep. Then I heard our kid laughing in her sleep. She was upstairs and I heard her through the monitor. I was super creeped out the rest of the night."
- jenntenntenn
Working Day And Night
"I guess sleepwalking is genetic and I married into it. My husband and all three kids sleepwalk."
"When the kids were little, I rarely got a full night's sleep. Bonus was one night the oldest decided the walls were dirty so she cleaned all the walls in the living room with her blanket."
- dunwerking
Screams In The Night
"Night terrors. Nothing like being woken up by a death-curdling scream."
- Flaykoff
"This has happened to me as an adult. I was staying over at my then-boyfriend’s house, and I was having a nightmare I was being stalked through his basement and into the bedroom we were sleeping in."
"I slammed the door to the bedroom shut in my dream and immediately woke up bolt-upright in bed. Evidently, I’d been talking and had woken him up because he was trying to comfort me."
"I turned to look at him in the dark and my brain just kept screaming at me that it wasn’t him; I guess I was still in a dream-like state because even though he looked like himself it was this weird Uncanny Valley effect where his face was just slightly wrong and it was absolutely f**king terrifying."
"I made him stop talking to me and roll over and go back to sleep because I couldn’t stop crying or shake the feeling that the thing I was talking to wasn’t him."
- ARatNamedClydeBarrow
What Was The Big Dill?
"One night, my spouse sleepwalked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and started having a full conversation with a jar of pickles. I’m still not sure who won that debate."
- Ok-Technician-980
Nighttime Messages
"He screamed 'blood' in the middle of the night… It was the first time I’d ever heard him sleep talk, let alone sleep scream."
- Wistful-Wiles
"My dad once screamed, 'MOO,' and went right back to sleep."
- SarElizJo
Mind Readers
"Her ability to point towards the thing I’m looking for as I’m just about to open my mouth to ask regarding its whereabouts."
- CreakInFunk
"My husband does this, too. He reads my mind all the time. It's creepy but fascinating at the same time."
- Old_Translator1353
Clearly Commitment To Method Acting
"He sometimes makes sounds like 'The Predator' in his sleep. It is not a good sound to wake up to. I wake up in terror every single time, and he's still out cold, clicking and drooling away."
- not_my_leo
Something Out Of A Horror Movie
"My wife stepped on a bee, got stung, and had an extreme reaction. When she came out of hospital, she could barely stand on the injured foot."
"That night, I was coming out of the shower and stepped out of the bathroom, keeping the lights off as we have the windows open for ventilation."
"Unbeknownst to me, my wife had gone downstairs to get something, and then, in pain, decided to crawl back up the stairs on hands and knees. In the dark, I glanced over the banister to see something crawling up the stairs towards me."
"As a timid-but-compulsive horror-movie watcher, I d**n near s**t."
- repairmanjack_51
Spine-Tingling Fun
"He thought of the most innocent word he could and then started to creepily whisper it to me. This has been going on for years… andnow he has trained our children to do it."
"Think of someone randomly leaning over your shoulder and whispering ‘bagel’ in your ear like Hannibal Lector."
"It only happens occasionally, so I’ll have my guard up for a few weeks after it happens, and then I kind of forget about it… until he does it again."
"My toddler can never remember the right word so he just whispers random words in my ear occasionally and it cracks me up."
- MrsKlein31
Yet To Be Confirmed
"My husband sat up in bed in the middle of the night and started pressing random spots on his chest, going, 'Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Booooooop.'"
"Then he slowly laid back down like nothing happened."
"I have not been able to confirm if I’m married to a robot."
- chocnillaswirl
From unexpected and creepy to endearingly spooky, these stories ranged from fun stories that happen within a marriage... to relationship deal breakers that would leave the creeped out among us noping right out of there.
