Ahhh, love out in the outdoors.
There is something about the fresh air and the hint of danger.
Although once we get caught we suddenly realize that danger is bad.
Redditor solar233 wanted everyone to share their outdoor love-making scandals, so they asked:
"Have you ever been caught while being intimate outdoors? How did you handle it?"
Thumbs Up
"The guy who walked by said 'Are you ok buddy?' Once he saw what was happening he said 'Oh you’re doing great.'"
- browsing_around
Beer Ok GIF by BuschGiphy
That's Naughty!
"Not outdoors, but did get caught having sex in the back of my SUV in a parking lot outside a restaurant we had just been to. Somehow we failed to notice there was a police station on the other side of the parking lot lol. Luckily the officer let us off with a warning saying 'You can’t do that here.'"
- thesuitelife2010
"At least it wasn't the back of a Volkswagon."
- YT-Deliveries
Teenage Dream
"In high school cop rolled up shortly after doing it with my girlfriend in the car. Like a dumb teen, I threw the condom out the window. Cop pulls up and asks what we are doing, obviously, he already knew. He says I need to throw the condom away, but me being embarrassed I said it’s not mine. He said throw the condom away or I’m getting cited. I picked it up and threw it away, and he said 'If it wasn’t yours you wouldn’t have picked it up.'"
"Let me off without any more trouble, which was nice of him."
- P-A-seaaaa
HUBBUB
"So, not me, but a story I rarely get to tell."
"At a work event, the company had rented a riverboat. Bar, music, a slow drift up and down the local river. Just a chill time in the evening."
"Bit of a hubbub and I notice people starting to drift to the starboard side, and occasional laughter and cheers drifting from the crowd."
"Wander that way and am treated to the sight of a couple facing away from the water, going at it in what they must have thought was a secluded spot out of sight, which it would have been if 200+ people on a boat weren’t drifting by."
"And then, like absolute legends, and without breaking rhythm, slowing in any way, or even looking back? They wave."
"And got a standing ovation for their troubles."
- Mike_Laidlaw
It's Hust Red Bull
"Here I am, making the sweet lovin in my car, shirt off pants slightly down. All the sudden I hear a tap tap tap on my driver's side window, my heart stops I start to get my things together as the lady I’m with is getting dressed and buttoning up her shirt I realize it’s a cop, I had a joint on me I thought I was f**ked, thankfully my hair was long so I tucked the J behind my ear."
"I got out of the car without my shirt the cops were already cracking jokes, and asked if I had anything to drink, I said 'No sir just redbull' (line cook at the time) and the cop opened the back door to see an avalanche of red bulls slide out, I shovel the bulls back into the car flustered and shirtless in the street as both the cops and my date laugh at me, so all in all pretty good night."
- 77SKIZ99
Pretty Skies
"Yep, a dog walker stumbled upon us mid-action. We just pretended we were stargazing… in some very creative positions. Awkward nods were exchanged, and we got out of there fast."
- Anakinkaz
Camping Cindy Busby GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphy
BLEEP!
"Yes, with my now wife at her mother's house. It's way out in the country so nobody would see, and her mom was going to be gone for hours. Or so we thought until we were well into it on a blanket in the yard and heard a loud BEEP! Her mom wasn't as long as she thought she was going to be and came back to her house, saw us, and didn't know what to do other than honk the car horn at us."
"Now to answer your question: I handled it by picking up my clothes and running into the woods. I returned dressed and we left. My now MIL brings it up every year on the 'anniversary of the worst day of her life' and we all have a good laugh about it."
- Speechisanexperiment
She Remembers Me, Right?
"When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was parked right in front of my house at about 3 AM. I snuck out to hang out with her, as I often did. I was a 'troubled teen.' So anyway, my neighbor knocked on the car door. My ex-girlfriend asked me what to do so I said I guess roll down the window."
"Aileen was my neighbor's name and she had early onset dementia. So she asked if we were there to see her. I just told her no. I lived there. She remembers me, right? So she said she did (doubtful) and just went inside. Never said anything to my dad, fortunately. She probably forgot about it. It was pretty mortifying, I have to tell you."
- Love-And-Dynamite
Carry On
"Haha. In college, a friend and I who were, occasionally amorous, thought it would be fun to do things in one of the empty classrooms in the math dept… well a security guard came in but made some noise first opening the door so my partner rolled off the desk onto the floor behind the desk (instructors desk so big wood thing). The guard flipped on the lights and I was standing there with my shorts down apparently having my way with the desk."
"The guard - total deadpan said 'Hello. Are you in here alone?' Haha. My partner peaked their head up over the desk and smiled and the guards said 'Just need to make sure everything is consensual.' My partner nodded, and the guard left and flipped the light back off. Oh man, what an awesome person… I bet they had seen some things over the years. We were both mortified but also laughing our butts off. Killed the mood but worth it for the story."
- Dart2255
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!
"I forgot this one so I'll put it here. Same now wife was having a party in her backyard - bonfire, BBQ, lots of friends, and alcohol. This is prior to her mom remarrying and moving to the country, so when the mood hit and we wanted to sneak off we couldn't go in the house. She suggested her car in the driveway where nobody could see us from the backyard."
"The problem is we didn't expect our drunken friends to notice we were gone, and we definitely didn't expect them to come looking for us. Well, we were in the back seat while our friends surrounded the car and started rocking it and yelling at us. One of my friends was banging on the window yelling 'TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!' Somehow we finished and then went on with the party."
- Speechisanexperiment
Under the Table
"Not me but a buddy. He and his girlfriend were at his father's golf course and slipped into an unused room with tablecloths covering long tables. The two got under one table and went to it. Mid coitus an employee came into the room, turned the light on, and began to vacuum the room. They remained frozen while the room was cleaned and the vacuum cleaner came within inches of their heads. They lay there terrified that the tablecloths were going to be removed. But were able to escape without being seen after the employee left."
- JimboBob
Snl Bag GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Back to Panda Express
"No, but one time I pulled into a parking space at Panda Express. I got out of the car, glanced at the SUV parked next to me, and there was a woman going at it with a man in the driver's seat. This was about 3 pm, a fully sunny day. They couldn't have been more than 18 inches away from me, probably closer to 12."
"I'll admit, I was so baffled by it that I stood and stared at them for a few minutes, but they had their eyes closed, so they never noticed me. I eventually went in and got my food, and when I came back out they were still going at it."
"I think of them every time I go to Panda Express now. The three of us shared a moment, a weird, gross moment, and they'll never know."
- IkujaKatsumaji
It's a SIN!
"Giggled and carried on when they left. Walked home super happy. Got yelled at by my mom and got a lecture on Christianity and virginity. Turned out her best friend had seen us and not some random."
- Psytrancedude99
Little Nicky Film GIFGiphy
These would all be great in a nice coffee table book.
Outdoor romance is nothing new.
But it's still a shock to happen upon.
