Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Reveal How They Didn't 'Catch Feelings' For A Friend With Benefits

Reddit user LiuChangMing asked: 'People with friends with benefits, how do you guys not develop feelings towards them?'

Dating is supposed to be a fun experience, but sometimes, we just don't have it in us to participate in a full relationship.

That doesn't mean that we don't still want to connect with someone, at least physically.


But for some people, it can be really hard to draw the line between having a friend with benefits (FWB) and becoming something more.

Taking notes, Redditor LiuChangMing asked:

"People with friends with benefits, how do you guys not develop feelings towards them?"


Indirectly A Rebound

"Not over my ex and want to be transparent about not wanting to date."

- dirtbag4life

Emotionally Guarded

"I could never be FWB before I had my heart broken, without developing feelings. Once I had my heart broken, I’ve never ever developed feelings for another."

"I can sleep with them, have an absolute ball with them, and do all sorts of things that would be considered romantic, yet not catch feelings. It’s nothing to brag about though, I want more than anything to feel them again."

- Blinglez

Small Deal Breakers

"Man here. For me personally, it all comes down to compatibility. If I know the person I am sleeping with would be an awful girlfriend, it makes it impossible for me to develop feelings."

"In my opinion, once you start saying to yourself “hmm I could potentially see my self dating this person” you’re probably cooked."

- Br0ther_Blood

"Exactly. There’s usually a dealbreaker or something about their personality that I can only take in small doses that keeps me from crossing into having feelings. But the sex is okay or great and you have to actually like them as a person. It’s the perfect arrangement when you want to remain single."

- cactusboobs

Not #RelationshipGoals

"Because we were compatible only as friends and f**k buddies, we would not be compatible as a couple."

- Acceptable_Humor_252

Just Annoying

"When you're enjoying the benefits, it's fine, but overall I find them annoying and caring at the same time."

- catz85

"I used to think this way about a chick, but then I pictured having a child with her and dealing with her for the rest of my life. I cut ties with her immediately."

- WhiskinDeez

"Yeah... I had someone I was dating. She kept asking about being official and in my head I thought, 'Yeah, we should!'"

"But I imagined having her meet my parents and having kids together, etc., and I broke up with her very quickly after that. Not out of spite at all, more just I thought it wasn’t fair to her to keep seeing her once I had realized."

- geminiwave

On The Same Page

"I’ve had a couple over the years and I would say that they were successful because whilst the sex was super fun and we both got on really well, we both were on the same page that we didn’t have the potential to be in a serious relationship for a variety of reasons, like commitment issues, incompatible lifestyles, other priorities, etc."

"So while I would consider these people my genuine friends, there weren’t romantic feelings involved because I knew there was no potential for the relationship to go any further than what it was."

- parmesanpickletoast

A Slippery Slope

"I tried that. After a while, I wanted everything. The cuddles and staring after sex, became too much."

- Delicious_Injury9444

"I told my FWB I was falling for her and she (smartly, in hindsight) called it off because she knew it wasn't fair to me."

"I lied to her and myself and said I was fine with it, just so I could continue to be with her. It was several months of the worst kind of emotional torture. I was miserable every second I wasn't physically with her because I was so insecure."

"I knew the rules; we weren't officially together. And it killed me and I was constantly afraid she'd find someone else. Eventually she acknowledged some feelings too and we ended up dating for four and a half years."

"So overall I guess I'd say it was a mixed bag."

- DouchecraftCarrier

No-Gos For Relationships

"Once you have a fair amount of experience with relationships, you are able to recognize personality traits that make a person a no-go for you for relationships."

"Only become FWB with people who are no-gos for relationships."

- xpatmatt

Not Local Enough

"We both know we want to raise kids in our home countries, so it just isn’t worth moving things forward."

"We found that out pretty early when dating, so neither of us ever developed a sensation of love. These days we’re content on enjoying company together on occasion and just being good friends to one another."

"In short: good, honest communication."

- DeathByLemmings

Honor The Feelings

"Friendship and horny are both feelings."

"The reason you don't fall into an exclusive relationship is because either A. Been there failed that, 2. Already know how that's going to turn out and don't need to ruin the current balance, or alternatively, you're both in a state of self repair but are also really good at satisfying the other's need physically/emotionally during that healing phase."

"You can love someone and not want to be life partners. You can love someone and not like them. You can have a mutual, safe, emotional-physical space with someone and know that it's temporary."

- teddehyirra

Unhappily Ever After

"I’ve had several over the years. It always ended with someone developing feelings. The ones that lasted the longest were when we hooked up very infrequently (once every few months)."

"The times that we got into too much of a routine (weekly or every few days), it always lead to attachment and someone wanting more."

- chesquayne

No R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

"The only time I’ve ever successfully had a friend-with-benefits situation where things didn’t end in a raging dumpster fire was when I genuinely kind of disliked the guy."

"I guess I should say, I didn’t dislike him per se, but I didn’t really respect him."

"He was fun to hang out with socially, really good in bed. But he was a small time drug dealer/f**kboy and I knew immediately he was not boyfriend material or anyone I would ever date, so it was easy to not get attached and respond to him only when I felt like it."

"We went our separate ways with no drama once it stopped being convenient, we are still friendly, and I hold zero animosity toward him. But is it really healthy to be having regular sex with someone you actively dislike? …Unclear, lol (laughing out loud)."

- cheerfulsarcasm

That Escalated Quickly

"I used to have a friend with benefits, many years ago… she’s my wife now and we have two kids… so I mean, I guess I don’t know the answer to your question…"

- GrepekEbi

"Do you still have benefits?"

- math-yoo

"Not if the kids are little. Little kids are c**k blockers."

- ronaldduckjr

Sometimes It's Impossible Not To

"I seriously always, always catch feelings… That's why after many years of minor heartbreaks, I learned over time that I’m not a friends-with-benefits kinda girl… and that’s okay… Not everyone is."

- Klutzy_House_9475

Or You Have To Be Dead Inside

"Be hopelessly in love with someone who you know you can’t have, that way you remain emotionally dead inside and can just focus on the here and now and having fun with a FWB."

- emf3rd31495

"Yeah, the trick is to be emotionally dead inside."

- halfdead1980


For someone interested in connecting with another person during the quiet time between relationships, they might want to rethink a friends-with-benefits situation, just because most of these Redditors admitted that it's practically impossible to keep the feelings in clean, uncomplicated lines.

More from Trending

Brooke Rollins
Win McNamee/Getty Images

Leaked Memo Reveals USDA Has Banned Massive List Of Terms Including 'Climate' And 'Pollution'

On his first day in office, Republican (MAGA) President Donald Trump issued a flurry of executive orders (EOs).

Among them was the MAGA movement's response to "woke."

Keep ReadingShow less
Tim Walz; Elon Musk
Mario Tama/Getty Images; Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Tim Walz Promises To Stop Mocking Musk Over Tesla's Decline—But Only On One Condition

After billionaire Elon Musk called Minnesota Governor and former vice presidential candidate Tim Walz a "huge jerk" for openly celebrating Tesla's stock market tumble, Walz assured Musk he'd stop—but only if Musk takes his hands off Social Security benefits for millions of Americans.

Late last month, as news outlets reported that Tesla shares have plunged over 40% since January, wiping out the entire “Trump bump” that had temporarily driven the stock up more than 90% following Election Day, Walz said he added Tesla to the stock app on his phone to add a pick-me-up to his day.

Keep ReadingShow less
Viola Davis; Timothée Chalamet
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic; Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images

Viola Davis' Reaction To Getting Shoutout In Timothée Chalamet's SAG Awards Speech Has Fans Cheering

It's always nice when one talented person in a field can recognize another.

This was the case when actor Timothée Chalamet, accepting his SAG award earlier this year, called fellow actor Viola Davis as "one of the greats" in his acceptance speech.

Keep ReadingShow less
Carrie Coon
HBO

'White Lotus' Star Carrie Coon Reveals Why Scene With Her Character's Nonbinary Child Was Cut

The third season of HBO's The White Lotus hasn't shied away from depicting our dark moment in American politics, but there was one story element that proved a bridge too far, it seems.

In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, actor Carrie Coon said her character Laurie was supposed to have a nonbinary child with they/them pronouns. But the brief scene between her and her child was cut following Trump's election.

Keep ReadingShow less
Vivian Wilson; Elon Musk
@vivllainous/Instagram, Scott Olson/Getty Images

Vivian Wilson Claims Elon Musk's Former Liberal Views Were Just A 'Marketing Scheme'

Elon Musk's estranged trans daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson set the record straight about the tech billionaire's supposed liberal beginnings, alleging that his persona was merely a ruse and part of a “marketing scheme.”

Wilson, who legally changed her name and identity in 2022 when she was 18, interviewed with YouTuber and Twitch streamer Hasan Piker, who asked her what the "transition was like for your dad to go from a liberal darling…"

Keep ReadingShow less