Most people have a list of qualities they want—and want to avoid—in a significant other. It can include anything from hobbies to habits to housing.
But what about their job?
People talk about wanting to date people in certain professions, but are there ones they want to stear clear of?
Reddit user theonlinepartofme asked:
"What careers are a turn-off for a serious relationship?"
Clown
"Clown."
"I don't need the competition."
~ saunaton-tonttu
Bar Staff
"I think it'd be difficult for me to date a person in the bar scene. I work a standard 8-5. My free time to do anything fun is weekends."
"They work like 6-2a on weekends, and are pretty flexible mid week, but even then, will work a lot of weekday nights, and even spend their free time at their bar or their friends' bars."
"It's a lifestyle I just can't live, even when I really have strong feelings for someone."
~ DangerSwan33
Swing Shift Worker
"Just anyone that is on a different shift/schedule than you is difficult. Only seeing each other one day a week even when living together.
"Not impossible, but a turn-off for sure."
~ noncreative_creative
"As superficial as it seems, it's a killer. I work night shift (5 to 2 am) and my wife worked a desk job for about a year. During that year we were only able to see each other for a few hours on the weekends."
"I get home she is asleep, I wake up and she is at work, she comes home I'm at work. I would stay up much later than I should just so I could get a half hour to talk to her before she had to leave."
"We lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, but I would go days without hearing her voice."
"Luckily, we are on the same schedule now (thank god), but I don't know how you are supposed to cultivate a thriving relationship with someone that you literally never see."
~ Neonnewt13
Long-Haul Trucker
"Been long-haul trucking the past year. My family still tells me to get a girlfriend all the time."
"I’m like, bro, I’m literally never home. Why the f*ck would I do that to someone?"
~ BitAsMothFu
"My uncle was a long haul trucker. He’d earn one day a week home for every 6 days of driving."
"Then he was at the mercy of the dispatcher to route him near his house or it was out of his pocket to bobtail home. He’d be out for a couple of weeks and then spend a couple short days home."
"I have no idea how his third marriage has lasted 25 years."
"Now that he’s retired she jokes that she wishes he was back on the road. And yes, she’s legitimately joking. They’re happy together and spend a lot of time doing things together and traveling."
~ R1CHARDCRANIUM
"Dated someone like this once. Dated normally for a year before they started work on the road. Then saw them for 2 weeks every 2 months. Relationship didn’t last more than 6 months then."
~ Electra_Online
TV/Movie Production Staff
"Film and TV workers . Brutal on families and partners."
~ Enough_Owl_1680
"Yep, high end VFX for Marvel, Disney or the like. ‘Prestige’ projects that require 50-70 hours to deliver whatever the client wants."
"Terrible for family and the higher you go, the more the time demands. 18-year-old me would have been psyched to work on what I’m working on now, but man, the reality is brutal."
~ phate0472
Concert Touring Staff
"Concert touring. It’s an industry where kids grow up barely knowing their parents and the rate of divorce is insanely high."
"Being a sound engineer at a high level tends to be a white glove gig where you’re not involved in building the system and wiring the stage etc..."
"Lighting designers and sound engineers get to wake up at noon, do a sound check, take a nap then do the show."
"It’s all of the people on the operations side that are up at 4-5am and depending on how the gig is going might work through until 1am or get a 45 minute nap in the afternoon if they are lucky."
"Carpenters for instance who build the set tend to get paid better than most departments, but it is very hard work and they are responsible for everything from helping rigging get into the building through to changing casters on a dud wardrobe or catering case in the afternoon because you finally have some time."
~ smartshoe
Airline Flight Crew
"Pilots and Flight Attendants. Irregular hours and long periods away from home can make maintaining a stable relationship challenging."
~ omrahul
"Unfortunately, It’s true. Being a flight attendant can be a lonely existence (speaking as one)."
"Yes, turnaround trips are a thing (going and coming back the same day) but there’s a limited number of them and it depends on your seniority as well as where you’re based."
~ LongLiveTheSpoon
Actor
"Actor. No money."
"On the off chance that they do make money it’s because they’re famous which sucks for you."
~ Parking-Party1522
Politician
"I would rather not date someone heavily involved in politics as their career."
"Seems like far too much stress and difficult to disconnect from."
~ AlluringCutiePie
Therapist
"I dated a psychologist for over a year. I never asked, but always wondered if she analyzed my behavior instinctively."
"My actions and what they meant according to textbooks came up a few times. I hated having to explain myself to someone who had already decided matter of factly what was happening."
~ wagimus
Influencer
"Influencer. I had a college friend turn into an influencer. He still has his regular job, but his whole dive into influencing feeds into his pretty bad narcissistic tendencies."
"He’s pretty judgy, never satisfied, condescending, and always seemingly not enjoying the moment cuz he wants to capture things on film. It’s exhausting and after 2-3 toxic blowups with him, I cut him off for now."
"I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a single real friend in his life anymore and deals with depression. I realized I’m no longer interested in pandering to his needs and wants."
~ shortyman920
Lawyer
"I'm a lawyer."
"I don't wanna date a lawyer."
~ wynnduffyisking
Multi-Level Marketer
"MLM 'entrepreneurs'."
"They encourage a cult-like devotion in order to progress through the ranks. The only way to make money is to see every relationship as transactional: what can I say or do in order to get this person to sign up so I can make money?"
When your 'paycheck' is more dependent on signing up a downline than selling product, by the way, you are in a pyramid scheme. And you will never win."
~ littelmo
Human Resources
"HR 100%."
"Every one that I've met is bubbly, but totally lacks empathy."
~ FavoriteWorst
Academic
"Surprised I haven’t seen this one yet: academia."
"You need to support them through ~10 years of graduate and post graduate studies, which can be tough both financially—they’ll have no savings to contribute when you start a family even if they live extremely frugally—and emotionally—it’s a very competitive field, and many PhDs suffer from anxiety and depression."
"It’s almost like the path to becoming a medical doctor, except at the end of it they most likely won’t have a job and if they do, it won’t pay much—depends on department, but most likely a union worker with no experience would make more. But let’s say they’re so lucky to get this poorly paid, highly coveted job—then, cue another ~10 years of high pressure and mental breakdowns as they strive to get tenure."
"Oh yeah, did I mention you have no say in where you’ll live or raise your family? Hopefully, your own career isn’t location-dependent. And if they land in a high cost of living area, and your job doesn’t make bank, you might need to get a side hustle to make ends meet."
"The light at the end of the tunnel is that, if they’re lucky, they’ll get tenure in their mid-40s and have more flexibility in their schedule and intellectual pursuits than 99% of jobs. Love that for them."
"Now you can travel as a family during the summer vacation, or—you know—work more to save up for the kids’ college. This last part can be avoided, though, if you force your kids to go to the same school where your partner teaches; I’m sure that they’ll love that."
"Basically: don’t marry someone striving to become an academic unless you make a lot of money and can work remotely."
~ Bungororo
What job is a definite relationship no for you?
@kileywrestling/Bluesky
