Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Adults Share The Most Depressing Way To Describe Their Jobs, And We're Dying

Adults Share The Most Depressing Way To Describe Their Jobs, And We're Dying
www.maxpixel.net

Miserable at work? You're not alone, so let's laugh at it. Think of the most depressing aspect of your work. Someone has it worse, and now you can feel better about yourself. You're welcome.

NecessaryZombie asked working misers of Reddit: What's the most depressing way you can describe your job?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


The woe of payroll, perhaps.

Giphy

I constantly stare at the screen making sure people get paid more than me.

1300-71992-488

I'm so sorry.

I'm a web developer.

trashpandalov3r

Life insurance FTW.

Giphy

I reward people with money when their loved ones die.

Ronald__Dump

Gotta learn somehow.

I force students to use their non-existent English skills by pretending I don't speak their native language.

stereovictrola

That's what Reddit is for.

It's 8:17 and I'm already done with actual work but have to sit here until 5 anyway.

daandilion

Those poor, poor IT specialists. Oy vey.

Giphy

If you took a second to google the problem, I'd lose 75% of my workload.

Red-pop

Literally programming yourself into obscurity.

The company doesn't want to pay people to mindlessly press buttons all day so I write scripts that mindlessly press buttons for me, then watch as the computer accomplishes in five minutes what would take me an entire day to get done.

Then every once in a while they tell me to make the computer mindlessly press some buttons but I can't, so I have to spend the rest of my day pretending I'm the computer.

theonlydidymus

Someone has to keep people like me away.

I go to a construction site all night and sit and watch a fence till the sun comes up.

RyMillions

Too much?

Giphy

Occasionally I sit in a chair and get called the devil by little old ladies who believe they're in hell. More often I'm a professional a** wiper.

kim-jong-the-illest-

Any guesses?

I use very subjective and limited information to determine if people are lying to me, and my performance is based solely on whether or not my coworkers agree with my decision.

mr_heathcliffe

Delivery driver of some sort?

I deliver poisonous food to lazy people who are often overweight and otherwise sick from eating the wrong thing. I drive in some of the most dangerous traffic in America (Dallas, TX). My first year on the job some teenagers plowed into the front wheel of my car while I had the right-of-way in a parking lot, a few days before Christmas. A few weeks ago a big orange traffic barrel rolled right out in front of me and I was forced to swerve into an under-construction entrance ramp in order to avoid being in a huge accident.

Killashandra19

People who work in retail have stomachs made of stone.

Giphy

I'm at the mercy of suits and plebs at least 50, mostly closer to 60 hours a week. I'm a retail manager. The suits are always pressuring for better efficiency and goal hitting while the plebs are pissed eggs went up 10 cents and want to return an item they bought 7 years ago but don't have their receipt.

girlbboss

An editor, perhaps?

I have to check the work of people much smarter than I am to make sure they don't make stupid, stupid mistakes.

If I miss one of the stupid mistakes, I'm the one who gets in trouble, not the smart person who made the stupid mistake in the first place.

shaidyn

This is deep, for a signmaker.

I arrange shapes and colors in an attempt to communicate a message, but also to make it pleasing and/or intrusive to the viewer, depending on the context. Sometimes this kills the soul piece by piece, other times it makes me feel powerful because people like me have already gotten to you and messed with your brain in ways some of you possibly can't comprehend, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Horrible side effects working with it include, but are not limited to: never being able to look at packaging/signs/menus/posters etc the same way as before, and becoming somewhat of an arrogant dick that people don't much care for, for reasons they might not even get themselves. But then I have to remind them that it's because of people like me that they might get out of a building on fire safely, and/or get out of accidents etc with their lives and limbs intact too.

MacheteDont

We have a winner.

Giphy

Hotel housekeeping. If it comes out of the human body, I've cleaned it up. I started in a by-the-hour motel when I was 14, owned by a woman who didn't bother with hazardous waste procedure and cleaned up what looked like a murder scene with nothing but bleach and kitchen gloves. I walked into that room, and was absolutely positive that when I pulled the shower curtain open there was going to be a body in the bathtub. Thankfully there wasn't, just blood everywhere. Owner refused to let me report it, made me clean it, and I didn't want to get in shit for bleaching a murder scene at 14 so I never did call the cops.

chalkyard

More from Trending

Kid Rock
Todd Kirkland/Getty Images

Kid Rock Dragged After Donning A Truly Over-The-Top Outfit For His White House Visit

Singer Kid Rock was slammed for wearing a loud patriotic costume inside the Oval Office as Republican President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Monday against ticket scalping.

The rocker's outfit consisted of a red, white, and blue jacket emblazoned with two eagles facing each other above the American flag with the number 250, a nod to America's upcoming 250th anniversary, and white stars on his sleeves.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Bill Cassidy
CNBC

MAGA Senator Just Said The Quiet Part Out Loud With Epic Freudian Slip About Medicare

Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassidy was widely mocked following his inconvenient slip of the tongue during a CNBC interview as he mused about finding ways to "cut" Medicare before quickly correcting himself.

The exchange occurred after host Rebecca Quick pressed Louisiana Republican and former physician Bill Cassidy on how his party intended to fund the “trillion-dollar tax cuts” sought by President Donald Trump.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Tim Sheehy
CNN

GOP Senator Gets Blunt Reality Check After Comparing Trump Tariff 'Pain' To Home Renovation

Montana Republican Senator Tim Sheehy was criticized after he tried to compare the "short-term pain" of President Donald Trump's tariffs to home renovation, a claim so ridiculous that CNN's Kaitlan Collins quickly pushed back on the analogy.

Trump has repeatedly referred to April 2 as “Liberation Day,” pledging to impose tariffs—taxes on imports—to reduce U.S. reliance on foreign goods. He has framed these tariffs as “reciprocal,” aiming to match the duties other nations place on American exports.

Keep ReadingShow less
Susan Crawford; Elon Musk
Scott Olson/Getty Images (left and right)

Liberal Wisconsin Judge Calls Out Elon Musk In Victory Speech—And It's Everything

Liberal judge Susan Crawford called out billionaire Elon Musk in her victory speech after winning a seat on the Wisconsin Supreme Court, basking in successfully beating her Republican opponent Brad Schimel and ensuring that the nonpartisan court’s narrow 4-3 liberal majority remains intact despite Musk's efforts to sway the race.

Musk fueled the high-stakes race, having poured more than $20 million into supporting Schimel, according to state campaign records. That includes $3 million to the state Republican Party—$2 million of which was donated just last week. Due to state election laws, large contributions must be funneled through political parties before reaching candidates.

Keep ReadingShow less

People Describe The Worst 'Bonus' They've Ever Gotten At Work

Most of us have worked at one problematic workplace, with reasons ranging from toxic coworkers to terrible bosses to unlivable pay. Sometimes, it feels like a joke that the employees are even being paid at all!

But the biggest joke of all might be the end-of-year bonus, or lack thereof. They're at times so laughable, they take the cake for horrible work conditions, or are quite literally, a slice of cake.

Keep ReadingShow less