Everyone has their dream list of what they would hope for in a partner, as well as a list of things that they find unacceptable or unattractive.
What one person might find annoying, another person will find to be an immediate dealbreaker.
Curious about others' boundaries, Redditor Trevorina asked:
"What is your absolute dealbreaker in a relationship?"
Just Tell The Truth
"Dishonesty."
- witdim
"Yep. Trust. If I can't trust my partner then there is no point."
- Marbles700
"Without trust, there is no relationship as far as I'm concerned."
- Dwerg1
Be Self-Aware
"Self-honesty is the most important for me. If a partner lacks self-awareness, they cannot ever be honest about what they are thinking or feeling, or why they do the things they do. Because they simply do not know themselves."
- NickDanger3di
Quality Time Is Necessary
"When their phone gets more attention than I do."
- Classic-Buy-305
"What's that? Sorry, I was looking at reels. *immediately looks down at the next reel*"
- inagadda
"That's what I'm dealing with right now. My girl is always on her phone texting her friends, going on social media, checking her emails. I try to cuddle up and show physical affection and I'm ignored."
"We don't kiss or have sex anymore. I've been pretty depressed lately, so I feel like that is making her fall out of love with me. It hurts."
- Beav710
Live Laugh Love
"A mismatch in humor. If you don’t have a similar sense of humor, it’s just not gonna work."
- FarthestGnat684
"I'm reaching a mismatch in just about everything in my soon-to-be-snuffed relationship. I was told, 'We don't have to like the same things,' but you know, one or two things in common would be nice."
- Accidental_Taco
No Cheating Allowed
"Cheating."
- 8701girl
"If you wouldn't show it to your partner, that means you shouldn't be doing it."
- PegasusReddit
"Once you feel the need to hide it, you're going behind your partner's back. Right there you've crossed the line."
- shenanigansgalore
Me Time Is Important
"Criticizing how you spend your downtime. 'What? You play video games?! That's so childish!!!'"
"Yeah, ex-boyfriend, because a game about WW1 where you can kill people with gas is appropriate for kids."
- DesignerAnimal4285
"It's not as prevalent as it used to be, but there's still a weird stigma where people view video games as only 'for kids.'"
"And to be fair, kids were once the target market. But those kids are all grown up now, and video games grew up with them. At this point, saying, 'video games are childish' is like saying, 'movies are childish.'"
"Sure, some are. But your average adult isn't playing those games (and even if they are, who cares)."
- MultiPhazed
Just The Right Amount
"No personal space or way too much personal space."
- Designer-Theme-6595
The Biggest Nope
"Controlling behavior... That's a nope."
- Relevant-Dish-172
"And verbal abuse."
- Whole-Appearance4505
"And gaslighting behavior."
- OtherwiseQuestion442
A Support System
"A lack of support. Not to make this transactional, but if I'm going to support you, I need you to support what I do, too."
- Cool_Policy1874
"Not being considerate of my needs."
- No_Record_2106
Be On The Same Level
"Immaturity. It’s exhausting."
- BobcatSpiritual5702
"Also, too much drama."
- Ok-Possession-5460
Something To Aim For
"When they have no ambition."
- JacketConscious8237
"When they refuse to change anything about themselves."
- Ok_Skin7156
Just Basic Human Decency
"A lack of kindness."
- aleksejponomarev1113
"Rudeness."
- SillyAd4716
"Misogyny. My husband treats me as his equal; he has supported me through a few different career paths; he doesn't try to tell me how to dress or what to do with my own body. This is a big part of why we're still together after ten years of marriage."
- thecampcook
Apologies Are Necessary
"Everyone makes mistakes, but I can't stand it when they refuse to ever apologize."
- Valuable-Iron-2311
"And never admitting when they are wrong."
- Severe_Product_1336
Boundaries Should Be Respected
"Not respecting boundaries."
- Fine_Release_4042
"Being in an uneven relationship, i.e. where the other person has different expectations for the relationship, different feelings towards you, or is less invested than you are. I got burned badly by this in my first relationship. Never again."
- hatescardio
Meet In The Middle
"A lack of compromise."
- Ok-Frosting9315
"Double standards."
- WillingGriffinDirect
While everyone has different expectations for their relationships, it seems like most of these tie into basic human decency, like respecting other people's boundaries and being willing to communicate on important matters.
Because, really, the goal of a relationship should be for everyone to be happy, so why wouldn't everyone do what is needed to make that happen?
@joehas/X