As Jane Austen so famously taught us in her immortal classic Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can be deceiving.
For while the dashing Fitzwilliam Darcy first appeared arrogant, rude, and snobbish to Elizabeth Bennett, she would soon learn that he was, in fact, the true love of her life.
However, even if we shouldn't jump to conclusions based solely on a first impression, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be cautious about certain things we notice.
A "red flag," as it were.
There are many people who deeply regret entering into what proved to be an ill-advised romantic relationship, or hiring an employee who proved anything but up to the task, feeling that they missed the obvious sign back when they first met them that this was an association bound to end in disaster.
Redditor opticfawn was curious to hear the biggest red flags people wish they hadn't ignored, leading them to ask:
"What's the biggest red flag you ignored?"
Bad Luck, Or Bad Habits?
"She had astronomically bad luck."
"She had been falsely accused of plagiarism and kicked out of college."
"She had a DUI on her record even though she wasn’t that drunk but the breathalyzer was miscalibrated and they mixed up her blood sample with a different DUI arrest."
"She got fired from her job for stealing when she didn’t actually steal but got set up."
"Everything just went wrong for her."
"Or maybe, just maybe, she was a huge a**hole who couldn’t own up to her own sh*t."- AmatuerCultist
Dubious Track Record
'She told me every guy she dated broke up with her."
"I eventually found out why."- draiman
Can't They Weren't Honest
"'I'm not in a good place to be in a relationship'."
"Yeah, I probably should have listened to that one."- spockgiirl
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIXGiphyThem Against The World
"Everything was always someone else's fault."
"All of his ex's were crazy/wrong."
"His family was problematic."
"Everybody was against him."
"Egad, did I find out about him the hard way."- ricwash
"She rage-quit every relationship she had ever had."
"I was her last friend, so I thought she would hang on to me."
"Nope."- Logical-Pop-458
The Words "I'm Sorry" Can Go A Long Way...
"He never apologized for anything."
"Even stuff that was 100% his fault."
"But my dumba** would have to apologize for everything, even stuff out of my control."- imlovegina
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyBefore, After, Or During One Wonders...
"He got arrested on our first date."- Sapphyrre
What Were They Trying To Hide?...
"When the person I was seeing would never introduce me to their friends or family."- graces-taylor12
Never Trust A Manipulator
"My gf at the time used the words, while talking about manipulating someone, 'I just always know what to say to make someone feel how I want…' hesitates then looks over to me and says '…but I don’t do that to you because…I care about you too much…'"
"This was pretty late in the relationship’s life, so I think she just barely cared to hide it anymore."
"I was heavily mentally checked out, and accepted this excuse without a second word."
"I did 100% notice it deep inside myself, and I still remember the pang of self hatred."- Terapyn
Manipulate 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLCGiphyWinning Isn't Everything... Or Is It?
"She was such a sore loser."
"Like toss the cards if she was losing at cards or smash and smear all the letters around if she was losing at Scrabble."
"It escalated from there as she would literally corner me in a room and tear into me for something I said."
"I left once as she went to the bathroom, mid-tirade."
"In her pajamas and slippers, she ran down two floors of her apartment's parking garage to stop me."
"Oh, and neither of her own kids would talk to her."
"Her parents and sister didn't speak with her, either."
"But they got the religion and she didn't."
"I just thought I could make it work, everyone has sore points and triggers."
"But I was so relieved when she left."- milescowperthwaite
Read The Room!
"My ex-boyfriend used to tell me how much he wanted to f*ck other people (my sister, my friends, his friends, etc) while we were being intimate."- lightasapetal
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"Do You Like Scary Movies?"
"First date she told me her favorite movie ever was 'The Exorcist'.”
"Whatever, I love scary movies."
"Soon after, we actually watched a scary movie, she came back from the bathroom wearing a scream mask and holding a kitchen knife because she thought it was funny.'
'I did not, but I was just like ok she’s 'quirky'.”- genekreamer
Patterns...
"The ex-wife had left her two previous partners for someone she had an affair with."
"I didn't think it would happen to me."
"It took 10 years, but it did."- MartyFreeze
"She cheated with me before she broke up with her ex and we got together."
"Imagine my surprised Pikachu face when she was f*cking a bunch of guys behind my back."- Greylings
Surprised Meme GIFGiphyThe Age Old Blame Game...
"Blaming me for things that I had no effect on."
"She got a bad grade on a quiz because I helped her study."
"Blamed me for her dropping her laptop because I was in another room doing my own thing and couldn't hear what she was saying so she had to get up off the couch which led to the dropping of the laptop."
"Blamed me for her not being prepared for a presentation at work because I had a work event instead of 'being there for her' which always meant just sitting there on the couch next to her while she put it together."
"Blamed me for her backing into a pole in a parking lot because I didn't pick her up from work, but I decided we'd meet at a restaurant."
"So many more, nothing was ever her fault."- turkeysandwich1982
It's never wise or fair to prejudge someone.
But if anything about someone causes suspicion, there's absolutely nothing wrong in doing a little investigating.
Possibly saving you a bucket load of trouble down the road.
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