Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Break Down The Best Insults They've Ever Heard

We've all known someone who tends to say mean things or generally be kind of a jerk.

And whether we want to admit to it or not, it can be fun to see that jerk taken down a few notches with a solid insult.


Ready for roasting, Redditor depressed_jellybear asked:

"What's the best insult you've ever heard?"

Not Your Mom

"When I was in high school, one of my classmates gave our teacher a typical 'your mom' response to a question without realizing the teacher’s mother had just died."

"Without missing a beat, the teacher said, 'Leave my mother out of this. I don’t make fun of your parents, and look what they produced.”

- HopeDeferred

Adoption Jokes Not Welcome

"I was playing 'Pavlov' (a virtual reality game) with a group of people, one of which was this very annoying kid who kept saying something like, 'You're bad because you're adopted,' and stuff like that."

"He did that to one dude, and the guy replies something like, 'I'd return the insult, but that'd imply someone wanted you.'"

"Had the whole lobby erupting. I don't know if it's taken from somewhere or what."

- ClaireBear13492

Underestimated by the Teacher

"Teacher of mine once said to a classmate who kept making the most asinine contributions to the conversation:"

"'You make it really difficult to underestimate you.'"

"The guy had no idea what it meant, he thought it was a compliment."

- robbycakes

Jeez, Dad.

"16-year-old me trying to convince my dad to take my friends and I to see 'American Pie':"

"Dad: So what is it about?"

"Me: A group of high school friends trying to lose their virginity."

"Dad: I can stay home and see that."

- Theromented1

Based on Real Life

"I once asked my cousin if he watched the tv show 'Desperate Housewives,' and he said, 'No, I’m married to one."

- InourbwotamI

The Joke Will Go On

"I remember when 'Titanic' came out. My grandma, my mom, and I were getting ready to see it."

"My grandpa said, 'Don’t know what the fuss is about. I can tell you what happens, the boat sinks. The end.'"

"Lol (laughing out loud). Maybe it was his delivery, but it cracked me up."

- a7xbarbie

So, Anyway...

"The best one I've heard was, ''I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.'"

- scottcree486

Seems Pretty Complicated

"I overheard someone tell someone else, They’d need a recipe for making ice cubes."

- thepiecesaremoving

An Insult for an Insult

“You’re not the dumbest person I’ve ever met, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”

- Trick-Reveal-463

"And I have the best response for that: 'Well then, I will pray for your health.'"

- Maria_506

New Take on the Clown Car

"I saw a bunch of quite pretentious people getting out of a limo at a club and pretending they’re more than they are to get in ahead of the line."

"The bouncer quipped, 'I can always tell clowns, all arriving in the same car.'"

- preferablyoutside

Signs of Aging

"Some bouncers are brilliantly witty, I assume it comes with working in a job where you have to deal with drunk a**holes all the time."

"A few years ago, I got IDed to enter a bar. I'd recently started buzzing my hair due to hair loss, yet my photo driving license had me with a thick full head of hair from several years before."

"The bouncer looked at the card, then me, and then said, 'Haven't you forgotten something?'"

"I was confused. He then showed his colleague, who nodded and said, 'Yeah mate, you've definitely forgotten something.'"

"Then he pointed to his head."

- Squeaky_Lobster

Good Luck Getting a Job

"You've got a face for radio, and a voice for writing."

- mike_e_mcgee

Girl Quips

"From 'Golden Girls':"

"Blanche: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms."

"Sofia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?"

- LissaMasterofCoin

Randomness Wins

"Context aside, someone once told me I look like I go to the park to punch birds."

- TheRoamingWeeb

While it can feel terrible to need to be around negative people sometimes, there's hope knowing that there are some things we can say that are funny and that will relatively put them in their place.

Now if only some of us could think of the comeback at the moment when it's useful...

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Sabre; Nancy Mace
@bottleneckloser/Instagram, Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Congressional Integrity Project

Trans Influencer Speaks Out After She's Randomly Targeted By Nancy Mace Online

A trans influencer fired back at MAGA Representative Nancy Mace of South Carolina for mocking her about her trans identity on social media and subsequently making her vulnerable to attacks.

Sabre, whose Instagram handle is @bottleneckloser, posted a video stating that the lawmaker "bullied" her recently for being "hot on Twitter.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk
Terence Lewis/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

YouTube Becomes Unlikely Hero After Play Button Is Perfectly Placed Over Musk's Face

Call it kismet or divine intervention, but sometimes the fates align to inadvertently create something wonderful.

Or hilarious.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk and Jim Jordan
Terence Lewis/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

GOP Account Hit With Blunt Reminder After Shaming Dems For Celebrating Tesla's Downfall

Minnesota Democratic Governor and former vice presidential candidate Tim Walz joined many Americans in a bit of schadenfreude regarding White House advisor Elon Musk’s recent reversal of fortune.

Musk, the self-described leader of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), has seen protests against his actions on behalf of Republican President Donald Trump. Part of those protests include Tesla owners getting rid of their vehicles, buyers boycotting the brand, and stockholders dumping their shares.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rachel Zegler
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic/GettyImages

Rachel Zegler Claims 'White Executives' Questioned Her Latina Heritage During 'West Side Story' Casting

Actor Rachel Zegler claimed that skeptical producers questioned her Latina heritage during the casting process for the 2021 West Side Story remake directed by Steven Spielberg.

In the remake of the classic 1961 film adaptation, Zegler starred opposite Ansel Elgort as the star-crossed lovers, Maria and Tony.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Trump Hilariously Melts Down Over Awful Portrait Of Him Hanging In CO State Capitol—And People Can't Stop Trolling Him

People can't help but troll President Donald Trump after he complained about a truly awful portrait of him hanging in the Colorado State Capitol building.

On Sunday night, Trump lashed out against Colorado Governor Jared Polis for hanging what he called a "purposefully distorted" portrait of him in the Colorado State Capitol building.

Keep ReadingShow less