Events That Divided People's Lives into 'Before' And 'After'

Life can be so cruel sometimes.

Everything you know and depend on can change in a matter of seconds.

Certain life events fracture our lives.

So much so that we can look back and pinpoint how we changed and WHEN.

There are just some moments that change us, physically, mentally, emotionally... forever.

All we can do is cope and adjust.

Redditor MisterBigDude wanted to discuss the ways life can be lived in two different parts, so they asked"

"What event divided your life into 'before' and 'after?'"

20/21

"I have two events really, but I’ll just mention the big one."

"In my junior year of college, when I was 20/21, I developed very unusual symptoms of insomnia, intense muscle soreness, slow movement, and a shaking right hand. After months of seeing different specialists, testing different medications to see if they helped, and finally a lumbar puncture, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease."

"This fundamentally changed my life moving forward. I finished college and went to grad school immediately afterward, but the fallout of the emotions and intense feelings of isolation caused me to leave. I later worked as a research tech for 4 years and finished my PhD last year after 5.5 years of doing grad school again. I achieved that goal."

"It’s been almost 13 years now, and I can’t say that any day since I started showing symptoms has been a 'good' one compared to before. I have to deliberately move my feet and hands so as to not drag them, trip, drop, or spill something. I’ve gotten very good at it, but it’s exhausting. Everything is day-to-day. It’s also psychologically isolating since almost nobody can truly understand or relate, while it’s also ended relationships when I told them about it."

"But I try to keep positive and look forward to something better coming in life."

- Immune_Enthusiast_91

There’s no Heartbeat

"Death of my 8.5-month pregnant wife and unborn child just two months ago. We were inseparable from when she was 18 until she passed at 33. Life changed a full 180 degrees."

"Edit: Wow. The support on the internet can be beautiful sometimes. Thank you all so much ❤️❤️ To answer a few of the questions, we did two rounds of IVF, and it took three years for it to finally be 'successful.' Her pregnancy was extremely rough, as there was rarely a day where she wasn’t sick but we were both so excited since we knew it would be worth it."

"Fast forward to October 2024, she is having bad stomach pains so we went to the ER. Almost immediately, they told us the three words that will haunt me forever - 'There’s no heartbeat.' Tragically, this was the last thing my wife heard before she had to be intubated. And so, the nightmare began. She fought for 5 days, with her family by her side. She ultimately passed from Sepsis, pancreatitis, leg infections, and finally full organ failure. She was an organ donor, but nothing could be saved."

"Her funeral was beautiful, but it was obviously a near-impossible day. The community all came together and supported me more than I could have imagined, and I’ll forever be grateful for that."

"If you take anything from my story, please just pamper your wives, and hold your little ones extra tight."

"Thank you all again, truly."

- Fire_Ballzier

So far, so Good

"Getting hit by a car."

" Woke up in the hospital a month later with casts on my legs, many fractures, and a damaged brain. Spent most of a year in a brain injury rehab hospital, fortunately, recovered well, and returned to my life."

"Though it was a bit different."

"That was almost 18 years ago. So far, so good."

- thikskuld

11 & 36

"I used to think it was the death of my father when I was 11, but now it’s the death of my brother when I was 36."

"Losing a sibling is surreal because you realize that they are like an external hard drive of your childhood. They were the only ones who would have remembered this or that, or could correct the story, or topped it with something even crazier that you both shared. Losing them is like a compartmentalized, instant onset Alzheimer’s where some of your most cherished memories get wiped from the earth, never to return."

"If your collected memories are all that you truly are, then I simply cannot claim to be the same person after his death."

- poontong

In January

"The unexpected death of my daughter-in-law in January. She was just 40 years old. I had gone to bed sick that night and had turned off my ringer and alerts, so I missed the call from my son at the hospital. He had to walk home in the dark alone after she died in front of him. I'll never forgive myself for not being there for him or for her when she was in the hospital."

- SylVegas

400 LBS

"Before bariatric surgery, I was almost 400lbs and in constant pain from my spinal arthritis. Couldn't walk more than a few feet before I started hurting. After bariatric surgery (and some physical therapy) I'm now 170ish and I'm still in constant pain from my spinal arthritis but it's significantly less than before and takes a lot longer to build up to intolerable levels. I have a full-time job again and I go hiking now."

- li-ll-l_

That Morning

"9/11/01. I was supposed to have been in the North Tower that morning. My 17 colleagues all died. Biz mtg was canceled the night before, inexplicably..."

- ColoradoCoffee101

"I grew up just outside the city in a small town where many if not most parents worked in Manhattan, including my dad. Luckily he was uptown and got out, but I remember so many dads who didn’t go into work that day because of, I think, a late Giants game the night before. Some who would have been in the towers. There are so many stories like this and so much survivor guilt—glad to hear you’re doing ok."

- thetransparenthand

Life is Precious

"Life turned upside down 5 years ago. A sudden health challenge almost took my life, had me in ICU for 3 weeks, in hospital for 2 months, and out of work for almost a year. 6 weeks after returning to work, COVID hit, and my family was among the first to have it in my area. Luckily came through OK, but wife had it pretty bad."

- Imaginary_Mark_7491

Completely Different

"My husband’s murder. I went from being a career-driven mother of 3 with a (mostly) stay-at-home husband to a single mother of 3 taking care of… everything. Lots of things changed in my life, some obvious some not. I’m a completely different person living a completely different life now."

- Jjkkllzz

Shattered

"The death of my infant son. The way my heart shattered and the way my whole being was traumatized by losing him so suddenly and unexpectedly is the most distinct before and after feeling. I feel like I can see the change in me from photos from just right before he passed where everything in me was happy and calm and there was that sparkle in my eyes of pure happiness with my kids."

"Then after, you can just see sadness, even years later when I’m happy and smiling, you still see the pain and sadness that lingers over and miss my boy every day. But the way I was changed by being his mama is very distinct before and after, too. I just love and miss him so much."

- MomFEDOROFF387hrf

One Single Paper

"We'll have to see, but it might well be this semester's papers turned in by students. I teach writing at the university level, and the papers were SO awful and so many students SO apathetic that I just can't even imagine doing this job anymore. I can point to one single paper that broke me."

"I actually had a real breakdown and spent last week in a crisis stabilization unit. It is TERRIFYING to watch education ebb like this and to see students not participating in their own lives. I do not expect people to love writing, but at least be present in your own head! The entire system is dumbing down, which means that the American people are dumbing down too."

- pinkthreadedwrist

Fake Happiness

"Living what I thought was a great existence. Happily settled, steady jobs, good friends. Savings. Decent cars. Wonderful son, and another on the way. A week away from getting married. All the families are happy."

"Found out my partner had been cheating on me for years with multiple women (his job as a police officer allowed ample opportunity for f*cking badge bangers and for believable overtime)."

"Single mum life. Moved over 1000km away to go back to my parents. Living on welfare. No savings. A car issue/pet issue/health issue away from total disaster. No sleep. Not many friends. No job. Raised the newborn on my own."

"Scary how life can totally upend in a morning."

- towers_of_ilium

Robbed

"Having a traumatic brain injury (TBI). One moment I was me, and then suddenly, was robbed of my own soul. Ruined my hopes, dreams, and motivation at age 26 in a mountain biking accident. 43, alone, and miserable now. Wear your helmets, though, folks."

- foxtrotrva

Thanks Puppy

"Breakdown caused by OCD in 2021 that left me actively planning my end. Almost went through with it but my parents surprised me with a puppy, and that puppy saved my life. In a much better, stable place now with that puppy still by my side, but I’ll never be the same ever again. No one really tells you that - that you might survive the attempt (or near attempt) but something in you still dies, and that part of you is just carried with you for the rest of your time, like a scar on your heart (or brain, whatever)."

- SnoringHound

Boomers

"My parents are wealthy boomers."

"I had just had my first son, was working long hours at a car dealership and my wife was working as well. My parents never gave me anything. We had incurred some credit card debt, about 3k that was destroying me, I hated owing money. I asked my dad for some help (drop in the well for them) and he coldly said 'no' and basically said figure it out. Over a couple of years the debt increased because we were trying to survive."

"I took a job across the country, pulled my family out of everything and we are thriving. All without their help."

"They always quip that they never get to see their grandkids, well, sorry about it."

- troutburger30

Priorities

"Divorce from my first wife. Realized I was a completely immature cheating d**k and vowed to make myself a better man, which led to a steady career that will lead me into retirement a millionaire, met my 2nd wife, treated her like a queen, had 2 more kids, made my wife and kids my #1 priority in life. 20’s me was not a good guy. 30’s 40’s 50’s me is somebody I’m proud of.

- flopshooter

There is a lot to process here.

My heart breaks reading so much of this.

Losing loved ones, especially children, leaves scars that never fully heal.

Before and after isn't always a fun prospect.

Some change is just too much.

But change, good or bad, is inevitable.

Enjoy every second... seconds are all we've got.