When a bearded lady who feared she would stay single forever wed a whiskered man she met through an online polyamory group for people wanting multiple partners, it was a marriage made in Heaven – and Hell.
For, as well as their matching whiskers and unusual sexual tastes, classical singer Little Bear Schwarz, 36, is a Christian, whereas her husband, Tobias Bradick, 45, is a Satanist.
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So, when the hirsute couple tied the knot near Little Bear's home in Tacoma, Washington in February 2019, in an interfaith Christian-Satanist ceremony, their marriage was blessed by a church pastor and a member of the Satanic Temple.
Suffering with polycystic ovary syndrome since she was 14 – a condition affecting fertility and often causing weight gain and excessive body hair – Little Bear began dating Tobias in June 2017.
She posted a Facebook message , expressing her fears that she would always be single, and Tobias wrote back asking her out.
Little Bear, who had known Tobias, a former navy mechanic, online through the polyamory group since 2014 – once meeting him in person two years later in a friendship capacity – said:
"I'd had relationships in the past, but they all fell apart, so I was feeling pretty low.
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She continued:
"I was worried that I'd never be able to find a person who could see past my beard."
"So I wrote a post on Facebook and then an hour later I got a message from Tobias saying that he hoped it didn't come across as too opportunistic, but he would love to take me out."
Quickly falling in love, a year later the couple were engaged and on February 24 they tied the knot in front of 40 friends and family at a special venue for ex-military personnel.
She continued:
"Tobias is a Satanist whereas I am a Christian, which might sound like we are at odds with one another."
She continued:
"But really, we have the same ethical codes – we just express them through different means."
And while they both remain polyamorous, they are also very much devoted to each other.
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"In the same way that you can love several of your children or friends, Tobias and I believe that you can be in love with multiple partners," said Little Bear.
Little Bear added:
"But that doesn't at all detract from the love I feel for him. Really, he's the first man that I have felt totally comfortable with, who loves me for the person I am – beard and all."
Sprouting hairs on her chin, upper lip and chest when she hit puberty, Little Bear, who changed her name aged 31 from Renee, began shaving daily in secret from the age of 14 – camouflaging rashes from the razors with make up.
But after meeting her ex-boyfriend in 2013 and moving from her home state of Florida to live with him in Seattle, Washington, she finally felt ready to let her hair facial hair grow – feeling her new environment would be more accepting.
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And she never looked back, celebrating her hairy face by entering a local competition for bearded ladies called Whiskerinas – which she won in 2014, and going on to join a sideshow called the Wreckless Freeks, which she toured with for nearly four years.
Sadly, though, as her career took off, her relationship with her ex-boyfriend floundered and, by early 2016, single once more, Little Bear, who identifies as 'queer,' feared she would never have another significant relationship with a man.
She said:
"For me, it's difficult to find someone, as they have to be really confident and proud to be with me, because, inevitably, they will be known as the person who goes out with a bearded lady."
She continued:
"On the other hand, though, I've always been wary of people who fetishize my beard, as I want someone to like me for who I am – not just a specific feature."
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"And that balance was often difficult to find."
But Tobias, who was still married when he first met Little Bear in July 2016, was the exception.
Single again, like her, when they had their first date in 2017 at a Vietnamese restaurant in Seattle, they clicked immediately.
"From that moment we knew that we were the right people for each other," Little Bear recalled.
"I think he respected the fact that I wasn't afraid to show off my beard and that I embraced it as part of my life and part of my femininity."
She added:
"And for my part, I recognized immediately that he was a really kind and handsome guy."
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From then on, the pair were inseparable. They called each other daily and Tobias, who lived in Tacoma, visited her in Seattle every weekend and eventually popped the question a year later.
Little Bear, who has since moved to his house, recalled:
"Tobias was really awkward and nervous about it and said to me, 'I have this ring that I bought 20 years ago in Hong Kong while I was in the Navy – I don't know if you'd like it or not?'"
Little Bear continued:
"So, I shot back at him and said, 'If this is the question I think you are asking you have to actually say the words!'"
"It was so sweet and so like him – I wouldn't have changed that proposal for the world."
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At their wedding in Tacoma on February 24 in the Veterans of Foreign Wars Club, the pair said their vows surrounded by friends and family, sharing their day with many of Little Bear's old sideshow colleagues, who included clowns, wrestlers and burlesquers.
Wanting also to represent their respective beliefs and cultural heritage, Tobias – who has Celtic ancestry – wore a kilt, while Little Bear wore a purple velvet dress.
"Having a Satanist and a Christian getting married, you'd have thought there might be problems," she said.
"But there were none at all. We both brought our respective beliefs and values to the ceremony and we both respected the other person's."
"Because at the end of the day, marriage is about two people loving each other – and that's all that matters."
u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit
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