I grew up Roman Catholic in the United States. If you've ever attended a traditional Catholic mass, they're solemn, serious, sometimes silent affairs.
Unlike in some religions, Catholic masses are pretty scripted and aside from the readings from the Bible and the officiant's homily, the script remains the same week to week. Same prayers recited at the same points, same moments of relative silence, same responses to things said by the priest.
Say "May the 4th be with you" to an old-school Catholic on Star Wars Day and watch them struggle to not immediately reply "And also with you." During every mass, the officiant—priest, monsignor, bishop, etc...—would say "Lord be with you" and the congregation would respond "And also with you."
Anyway, invariably, I and one of my Sisters or I and my Mother would say or do something funny and we'd both get the giggles during mass—usually in one of the silent parts. My Metís Grandmother would sass us in French and make us switch seats so she was sitting between us.
Even happened during high mass at a funeral once. Awkward...
Reddit user lothos1103 asked:
"What is the most awkward thing you've ever accidentally said or done in a serious situation?"
Soft(er) Landing
"While I was working at a supermarket, a 10-year-old boy fell flat on his face. We took him out back with his parents to tend to his injuries."
"The mother said, 'I'm worried he has a concussion; we'd better call an ambulance.' Having recently graduated and majored in neuroscience, I thought it would be a good time to point out that 'It's lucky he landed on his nose!'"
"...because obviously that cushioned the landing for his brain."
"But the way everybody turned to stare at me, particularly the look on the father's face, suggested it would be best if I exited the room. I left quickly."
~ dysmetric
Not Permitted
"My husband, on the phone:"
'I've got really bad news, [friend] died this morning'."
"Me, sounding indignant:"
'But he wasn't supposed to do that!'."
"It was an unknown heart condition, completely unexpected. So no, he wasn’t supposed to do that."
~ SofieTerleska
Back In Black
"At my friend’s dad’s funeral, the theme they asked everyone to wear was florals. I don't know why I showed up wearing black."
"That isn’t the bad part though."
"The bad part was when I was talking with a few other people and saw another girl wearing black, and I said, word for word, 'oh, we’re wearing black! We’re the black people!'."
"We are both White. I think about that everyday."
~ Gingerphobicginger
Cleaning Up
"I was in a finance-related meeting with my director and CEO. I suddenly had one of those sneezes that come out of nowhere with no warning."
"Didn't have time to cover my mouth, and to make matters worse I shot out a loogie (ball of mucus/phlegm) right onto my CEO's boob."
"I wanted to die, but my CEO, cool as a cucumber took a tissue and gave it to me, while grabbing another and wiping my loogie off."
"She smiled at me and said, 'You don't raise two kids without becoming desensitised to that stuff'. And continued like nothing happened."
"My director on the other hand started tearing up and his temple vein was bulging. I could tell he was trying so goddamn hard not to burst out laughing."
~ lifesnotperfect
Double Time
"My first big interview, I'm sitting there when two women walk in to start the interview.
"I stand up, shake their hands, and say, 'looks like you two are going to tag-team me, huh?'."
"I immediately knew that wasn't the right thing to say. They just laughed and moved on."
"Got the job, too!"
~ frankysins
Washed Up
"In a customer's house repairing his dishwasher.
"Customer: 'I don't even use the dishwasher much since I lost my wife'."
"Me: 'Have you gone out to look for her? Sorry, sorry, sorry'."
"F*ck me... I'm an idiot. It just slipped out."
~ MicaBay
Tooting Your Own Horn
"At my first big job interview, I was insanely nervous."
"The interviewer asked, 'How do you handle stress?'."
"And I suddenly let out a loud fart."
~ SampsonGoldsmith
"As a former interviewer, I'd have given you points for that answer."
~ MohawMais
Flipping Her Wig
"I was young, and my mother pulled us kids aside to say, 'your grandmother just had a round of chemo and lost all her hair. She'll be wearing a wig—please do not make any comments about her hair'."
"I have trouble connecting thoughts together. Forgetting everything I was just told, she walked in the door, and I immediately said 'Hi!! Wow, you got a haircut! It looks great!'."
"If I remember correctly, my mom was livid, but my grandmother wasn't phased and all was well. She was a saint. But I still remember it to this day."
~ Lothar_Ecklord
A Story To Tell
"I went for a bike ride in my neighborhood at about 12 at night a month ago. It was pitch black other than streetlights every 5 or 6 houses."
"I was kinda just zoning out, enjoying the fresh air, when something moved out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to look, and I immediately assumed it was some kind of monster."
"I had just finished a horror movie, so I let out an extremely loud, bloodcurdling scream in the middle of the night in a silent suburban neighborhood. The thing, which turned out to be a blond soccer mom, screamed back at me, with pretty good reason."
"I zipped past her on my bike, yelling 'oh my god, I'm so sorry!' over and over again until I got off the street."
"I haven't gone on a nighttime bike ride since then."
~ arki_pg
"Somewhere out there a blond soccer mom has a story about a weird screaming bike rider."
"Hopefully it’s a legend that will be passed down."
~ Fafnir13
Sick Call
"I vomited on a patient we were transporting on the ambulance, who was experiencing cardiac issues."
"Fortunately, he thought it was hilarious. As my crew took him in, and I started cleaning, wishing I’d melt through the floor, someone opened the ambulance door."
"'I just heard you puked on a patient!' It was one of the ER doctors. I wished I could melt through the floor even more dearly as he went on to tell me that he’d done the same thing as a resident, but never met anyone else who’d managed that."
"As it would turn out, I was severely ill, with a disease that has vomiting with no prior warning as one of its symptoms—hydrocephalus due to cancer. It would be months before that got figured out, though, and didn’t make me feel any better about this call."
~ Starshapedsand
Captain Obvious
"Well, moments ago I just told a 98-year-old WWII veteran that I 'used to see a lot more of y'all earlier in my career' in reference to, but not actually saying, it's because they're dying off, so there's that."
"I'm really bad at small talk."
~ tootiredforthisshxt
Photo Finished
"I'm a wedding photographer. The 6 bridesmaids were having trouble with me communicating who I wanted to move in a certain direction."
"Finally I blurted out 'the skinny one'. One smiling bridesmaid moved while 5 others incinerated me with their eyes."
~ tootiredforthisshxt
Gallows Humor
"My daughter's mom passed away a few years ago when my daughter was 14—she's now 17. The way she and I have coped is by cracking 'your mom' jokes with one another."
"Two years ago we moved and she started at a new school and met new friends. One day when they were over, I let a your mom joke slip in front of them without even realizing they had no idea we did that with each other."
"Her friends gave me a look of disgust and started tearing into me about what I had just said, all while my daughter is laughing her a** off because I'm getting chewed out by her new friends. She finally explained to them the situation, but still—awkward for everyone until they understood."
"It was kind of nice seeing some friends she had just met a week or 2 prior stick up for her like that, though. They are all still really good friends as well."
~ Connect_Signature140
Shout Out
"As a low-ranking team lead in a staff meeting, a senior manager started yelling and shouting at me. We had been disagreeing about a point of fact for a 1/2 hour."
"I heard myself tell him to go outside if he wanted to keep shouting. The room went silent. Real silent..."
"When I replayed the scene back in my head, I realized what I really said was, 'If you want to shout at me, step outside!' But he shut up."
"No one blinked. I pondered for a very long moment. Realized that nothing I said was an overt threat. So I sat back down."
"He never shouted at me again. No one did."
"After lunch break, someone else brought up my data, proving I was right and he didn't know what he was talking about."
"No, he didn't apologize. Still, it was a very good day."
~ Striking_Reindeer_2k
BOGO
"My grandmother died and my mom was finishing up her cremation arrangements with the local funeral home when my dad died in a car accident two weeks later."
"My mom calls up the funeral home, and her grief-stricken sick sense of humor forces her to ask if they have any two-for-one deals on cremation services."
~ SpectralCoding
What's your awkward moment during a serious situation?
@GavinNewsom/X
