When a woman's husband was stoked about some new clothes of his, she had some qualms—color qualms.
She worried about his rainbow shirt and the unintended conclusions people in public might make about him because of it.
The concerned woman explained the whole situation, and the ensuing argument, on Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit, where posts are made under the expectation that the good people of the internet will weigh in with their moral judgments.
Simply put, a real life experience is shared and the person asks if they, or the other people in the story, were the a**hole in the given situation.
Inconspicuously named "throwaway2121243," she begins the post by outlining the difference between herself and the masses.
"So first of all its fine that my husband likes the color rainbow and I have no doubt that he is straight, but I'm afraid he will be judged by random people who will most likely think he is gay and talk sh*t about him."
"I've known this since day one and I have never really cared since he only really revealed that to my family, his family and some friends."
She then outlines the issue at hand and their first discussion about it.
"Recently he started saying that he wants to get a rainbow shirt since it looks cool to him."
"I said, 'Okay that's cool. Is it like a pajama set or something to wear around the house?' "
"He responded with, 'That's something else I can get but no, need another outfit so I figured why not get one that's my favorite color. You know? I am getting tired of being secretive about what color I like, who cares its a color! People who make fun of you for dumb things like that are irrelevant and not worth my time.' "
His defense, evidently, did not heal her of her concerns.
"I told him that's fine but I started trying to tell him to just get it to wear around the house or something because I don't want him to be the butt of the joke."
"We got into a little argument but it ended in us just not talking to each other for the rest of night. I feel really bad about that but just want him to be happy. I hate the way society works but people will definitely clown him and call him gay."
Now on the internet without any interruptions, she follows the account of the argument by heaping on her further concerns.
"On top of that he is black and that will most likely make things worse."
Though when she enlisted some backup in the form of her husband's parents, she hit a wall there too, leaving her unsure of herself.
"I talked to his parents about it and they said to let him live his life and to, no offense, but not be an a**hole about it."
"Am I really being an a**hole about this? I love him and support his beliefs but I don't want his ego and feelings damaged."
By and large, she did not get the desired support from the Reddit community either.
Most comments called her motives and rationale into question.
"YTA," the abbreviation for "You're the A**hole," was uttered up and down the thread.
"You keep saying 'society' but actually it's just you projecting your insecurities. If he's a black man who's confident to wear rainbows then just let him live his life." -- kiplinght
"Rainbows are beautiful. Your husband is refusing to let bigotry ruin a pleasing color spectrum. YTA with a cool husband, it seems." -- padbroccoligai
"YTA. The only person damaging his ego and feelings right now is you." -- wundermum88
Some comments were more aggressive.
"YTA and definitely a homophobe if you think that people calling him gay is something to be concerned about. It's not an insult, and no one cares except closed minded bigots. Like you." -- Sorrelandroan
"You can't live your life based on what other people might think, and you certainly can't force your husband to live his life based on what you think others might think."
"--Sincerely, someone very very gay" -- tapiocatsar
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Some comments keyed in specifically on her need to trust her husband's autonomy.
"Your husband is a grown man. He knows as much as you about the social associations of rainbows and how some people can be teasing about it. Let him pick his clothes. Stop partnering with his parents in attempts to control him." -- madelinegumbo
"YTA. He is a grown man. If people heckle him he can handle it." -- Spike-Tail-Turtle
"I'm sorry. YTA. I see your concerns about potential backlash but that backlash needs to be handled by him. If he is confident he will do fine, it's just a shirt." -- snakebru-sh
"He's his own person and can make his own choices, especially regarding something as minimal as what shirt he wears." -- bottleblond__
Some, though they did take issue with her approach, could wrap their heads around where she was coming from.
"The world really isn't perfect and people that look and act differently aren't always treated fairly."
"With that said, there are some risks you have to let other people take, like wearing a rainbow shirt." -- Hameater11
In closing, according to at least this corner of Reddit—and much of the world—the visible light spectrum is absolutely on-limits for anybody to incorporate into their wardrobe and all walks of life are acceptable.
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