Millennials, it's time to pack it in. Anyone born from 1981 and 1996 is a millennial and that era is now "historical."
The internet—or people of a certain age anyway—lost their collective mind this week after iconic toy brand American Girl released their newest doll characters.
The company custom-made dolls as well as characters from various historical periods including Kaya, a Native American doll character from 1764 to Melody, a character from Civil Rights-era Detroit.
Newest historical dolls Isabel and Nicki are twin sisters living their best lives in—wait for it—1999.
As in the year before the millennium.
The 1999 some people still get confused and think was only 10 years ago. That 1999 is now considered "historical," and millennials' AARP cards should be arriving any time now.
Get a glimpse of Isabel and Nicki below—if your ancient millennial eyes still work, that is.
The year 1999 being considered "historical" is shocking enough. But Isabel looking suspiciously like Cher Horowitz from Clueless is a bridge too far!
Even the American Girl companies Instagram caption twists the knife if you're of a certain age.
It reads:
"Weren’t the ‘90s just yesterday? As if!"
"Our new historical character twins, Isabel & Nicki, share girl-power goals. ☯️👽🌼"
Clueless and a Spice Girls reference?
Does Alicia Silverstone know about this‽‽ Someone get Mels B and C on the line so they can come kick some butt.
Anyway, like most of the company's dolls, American Girl has really nailed it when it comes to the details of isabel and Nicki's lives.
In addition to their outfits, the dolls come with a desktop computer with a very AOL-looking home page, a cordless phone and a portable CD player—spinning the Backstreet Boys' Millennium, probably.
But those details were mostly lost on millennials on the internet.
They were too despondent that 1999 is now considered "historical."
\u201cWhen the new \u201cHistorical\u201d American Girl Dolls are from 1999\u201d— \ud83d\udcdaLydia M. Sigwarth\ud83d\udcda (@\ud83d\udcdaLydia M. Sigwarth\ud83d\udcda) 1677109590
\u201c@betchesluvthis so if my first American Girl doll was Felicity, does that make me a 700 year old vampire? because I feel like it does. \ud83d\udc80\ud83d\udc75\u201d— Betches (@Betches) 1677151821
\u201c@zackstanton It's like a Delia's catalog on Special K.\u201d— Zack Stanton (@Zack Stanton) 1677090422
\u201cThe historical American Girl dolls from 1999 should come with their own tiny American Girl Dolls\u201d— Rohita Kadambi (@Rohita Kadambi) 1677089147
\u201cIf you were born in the 90\u2019s you are now considered HISTORICAL! According to American Girl\u2019s latest historical dolls who are TWINS from 1999\u201d— Harry Hill (@Harry Hill) 1677078612
\u201cmy millennial heart can\u2019t handle this\u201d— Julia Wilde (@Julia Wilde) 1677104825
\u201cIt is extremely funny that American Girl now has historical dolls from 1999, which you can buy a $32 fake Pizza Hut BOOK IT! set for.\u201d— Faine Greenwood (@Faine Greenwood) 1677125072
\u201cWell, I've just found out that the newest American Girl historical dolls are twins from Seattle in 1999 so if you need me I'll be making my funeral preparations.\n\nhttps://t.co/2DMg5Frr0Y\u201d— Ice Bear is Over It (@Ice Bear is Over It) 1677173399
\u201cAmerican Girl just released their newest historical dolls: Isabel & Nicki from\u2026 1999.\n\nI never felt so disrespected in my life. \ud83d\ude2b\u201d— Black Girl Nerds (@Black Girl Nerds) 1677252163
\u201cAnd thus\u2026 I wither to dust as the new historical American girl dolls are announced as being from 1999\u201d— mfangirl captain of many ships and OG Candygirl (@mfangirl captain of many ships and OG Candygirl) 1677074840
Isabel & Nicki aren't the only "historical" dolls from well within millennials' lifetimes. The next historical doll in the series, Courtney, comes from the olden times of 1986.
Time for some Geritol and night cream, millennials.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram