Instead of Guns That Kill People, America Bans These Things That Don't

Americans sure do love their Second Amendment rights, regardless of the human cost of continued massacres involving semi-automatic weapons.

There has been a mass shooting in the United States almost every day since 2018 began. Yesterday, 17 people were killed and 14 more injured in a shooting at a Parkland, Florida high school. Maybe, one day, our country will start making rules that protect human life, not just inconvenience it.

But we see ourselves as responsible, so we ban things we deem dangerous to public health. Here are eight of them that aren't guns, that aren't even remotely as dangerous as guns, and that most Americans probably could not care less about, courtesy of Indy 100.

Kinder Eggs

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Kinder Eggs, which contain a toy inside a chocolate shell, were banned because one child choked on a toy that was nestled inside one of these chocolaty delights.

Haggis

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Haggis is a traditional Scottish pudding made from sheep's lung, heart and liver. It also contains onion, oatmeal, suet, spices and salt. After being mixed with a "stock," the glandular mixture is encased in a sheep's stomach. In 1971, the United States Department of Agriculture deemed any food made with sheep's lung unfit for human consumption. Currently, there is an effort by Conservative British politician Michael Gove to push the Trump administration to lift the ban.

Shark Fins

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Shark fins are a Chinese delicacy that have been illegal to serve in the United States since 2011 due to the barbaric nature in which they are obtained. Their fins are sliced off, and then the sharks are returned to the ocean where more often than not, they drown. Many other forms of horrific treatment of animals for food, such as the preparation of foie gras, remain legal.

Nigella Dawson

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The English journalist and food writer was prohibited from boarding a British Airways flight in 2014 after admitting to smoking weed and doing cocaine. The ban was lifted so that production of her show, The Taste, could proceed. Because, you know, no one in entertainment does drugs. Ever.

Nipples

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Not male nipples though, just female nipples (the nipples that serve an actual purpose), because reasons. The #freethenipple movement is helping to shape a national narrative that addresses this obviously sexist double-standard, but we have a long way to go.

Dictionaries

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Seriously. Parents in southern California didn't like that Merriam-Webster had "oral-sex" defined in their language database, which their children could potentially read, so the 10th Edition was removed from classrooms. I'm not sure which is worse, requesting the ban, or the schools actually agreeing to it. Whatever, Merriam-Webster always nails it.

Long Bingo Games

Bingo games lasting more than five hours are banned in North Carolina due to the state's gambling restrictions. "Bingo games may not last over 5 hours unless it is held at a fair," according to state code 14-309.8. Oh, and alcohol is also banned from Bingo games. Honestly, North Carolina has some absolutely insane laws. For example, oral sex is considered a crime against nature, marriages can be voided over impotence, people in possession of illegal drugs must pay taxes on them, elephants can't plow cotton fields, to name a few.

Perhaps most disturbingly, House Bill 819 prohibits using climate change to predict sea-level rise.

The Ice Bucket Challenge

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In August 2014, the United States State Department banned officials from participating in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge because it creates a conflict of interest. "It's not just about ambassadors. Federal government ethics rules prevent us from using our public offices, such as - high public offices such as ambassadors - for private gain, no matter how worthy the cause is," State Department deputy spokeswoman Marie Harf told the Telegraph. "For that reason, high-ranking State Department officials are unfortunately unable to participate in the ice bucket challenge."

The ban didn't stop everyone, though. Former US Ambassador to Thailand Kristie Kenney did it anyway.

As former President Barack Obama said, Americans "cling to their God and their guns." Maybe that should change so we don't have to keep burying kids getting shot in schools.