Let's face it, being single is tough for a lot of us, especially when there's a special occasion coming up or all of our closest friends and family are in relationships while we're alone.
But the Reddit community wanted to remind the singles out there that there's more to think about in starting a new relationship than just feeling those butterflies.
Redditor Huge-Tackle-2152 asked:
"What is something everyone should know before getting into a relationship?"
Actions Above Words
"Love is an action and a choice. You need to make the choice to love someone you’re in a relationship with by showing that love to them."
"Love isn’t just the romantic feelings you have for someone. You have to actually 'do' love."
- eeo11
It's a Two-Way Street
"Not only are you getting a partner, but you also need to BE one, as well."
"Many people want to be in a relationship because they want someone, but they are not ready to actually be a partner, as well."
- BlockOfTheYear
Be Communicative
"Communication. If you're not communicating, then you're never going to be on the same page about anything, fights will never end, and problems will keep festering and come back to bite the both of you, etc."
- Codaxic
Argue Mindfully
"How you fight is important. It is so easy to hurt someone once you are close to them and you can't unsay things."
- Headgh
Accept the Dealbreakers
"Accept the other person as they are. You won’t be able to change them or who they are at their core, which means that if there’s something about them that’s a dealbreaker for you, don’t expect that it will ever change."
"Take that as your cue to leave or not start dating."
- eeo11
Accept Yourself, Too
"If you're pretending to be someone you aren't to get into the relationship, it's not going to work."
"You gotta cast your net a little further. There's a difference between putting yourself out there and pretending to be into s**t you secretly hate to land a partner."
- Vegan_Harvest
Not Everyone Is Your Person
"Don't chase someone who has made it abundantly clear they do not want you. If someone is interested in you, there won't be any confusion. It will be cut and clear."
"If you find yourself trying to change fundamental parts of who you are, to be what someone needs, that's not your person."
- LilRedChefInTheHood
You May Be the Problem
"Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you think someone is perfect, you are lying to yourself."
"If you think you are perfect, you are lying to yourself and everyone else. (And they are tired of your pompous bulls**t.)"
- RedIcarus1
Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"If you think the other person’s job is to MAKE you happy, everyone is going to have a bad time."
"Of course, you can and should contribute to each other's happiness, but the individual must choose positivity and levity and work on their inner demons. No other people can achieve that for you."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Oops.
"Lust isn't love."
- TOMTEXOMA
Be Honest About Your Intentions
"Here’s one based on a painful experience of mine. If you’re not looking for a relationship and only want a f**k buddy, don’t pretend you want a relationship just to keep getting someone’s attention."
"You’ve wasted their time and will negatively impact their ability to have a relationship in the future."
- SectorZed
Don't Compromise on the Important Things
"But don’t compromise on your deal breakers or hope you can change someone. You should find someone who is compatible with you on the big things: what kind of life you want, if you want kids, how you handle disagreements, how you handle money, etc."
"Also, learn what common red flags for abuse are in relationships. Don’t compromise on those."
- ShimmeringShips
The Relationship Has More than Two People
"Have you met their family and friends?"
"Once you form a relationship, family and friends come along for the ride."
- Back2Bach
They Won't All Work Out
"Sometimes it’s just not worth fighting for. Relationships have hard times. But it shouldn’t ALWAYS be a hard time."
"Sometimes you just have to accept your energies don’t align and move on to allow yourself true happiness."
- Timeless_Clock_13
But Sometimes It's Worth It
"Love is a choice. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be frustrated with your life, and it might reflect on your perspective of the other person, you might not even feel 'in love' at that moment, but you can always choose to love them."
"And usually, it's worth it."
- perunch
While the subReddit could admit that relationships can be pretty great, there are many considerations that go into committing to it.
From staying true to ourselves, to connecting to the other people in our partner's life, there's much more to love than romantic dates.
@chandlerparry/Threads
