No one can really prepare you for the unique challenges ahead when you start adulting.
Any advice you've been given is certainly helpful, but they don't always apply to unforeseen circumstances.
Curious to hear what these entail, Redditor schrodingerscatalyst asked:
"What’s an adult problem nobody prepared you for?"
Constant Fatigue
"How tired I’ll feel all the time."
– No_Strawberry_1576
"My mom used to say 'I need to go lay down.' "
"Now I too, mostly want to lay down."
– 50DuckSizedHorses
"I used to think adults were grumpy and boring and could never understand why they'd choose to live that way. Now I get it. Everyone is just tired."
– ItsBlahBlah
Maintaining Relationships
"How hard it is to meet people/sustain relationships. When you're young, you are constantly surrounded by people your age, going through on essentially the same schedule as you."
"But once you're an adult, it's really hard to meet people in between the daily grind, and even harder to plan things with people you do know because they are also living their own lives."
– AMateriaIGirl
Self-Promoting
"The work you do is 20-30% max of your status, pay, promotion etc. The other half is who you do it in front of, and how well you get along with those people out of work."
"I worked my @ss off f'king hard and only got shi* projects and work because I was always out working, not spending time with the office staff."
"As soon as I got near the paymasters and decision makers, when they could actually see me working and taking responsibility, I got bumped up a few levels."
"Now you just go out for drinks with a select few seniors and watch all the sh**ty jobs get given to other people. I've had panic attacks when I don't have one tenth the workload I used to have, and I'm still told I'm doing too much."
"Is it kissing @ss? In some jobs, it would be. I moved around until I found a spot where I actually like and get along with the senior people, and now it's just hanging out with friends and getting double the paycheck at the end of it."
"Is it right? I don't know. It's just the way it is."
– bonechairappletea
Art Of Conversation
"Social skills in the workplace are more important than actual skills. I have seen guys who didn't know their @ss from their elbow promoted to positions solely on their ability to talk their way into it."
– FartinDarton
"Nobody told me socializing was a life skill and not just an entertainment activity. As an ostracized kid, I always figured I'd have time to figure out how to find decent people as an adult. I didn't know the barriers I created for myself would impede by daily life and career so much."
"Things you never think of, like 'How am I going to get home from this dental appointment if I'm still affected by anesthesia?' "
– paleo2002
Parental Role Reversal
"Elderly parent losing their mind due to dementia and needing care, but nursing homes are $7k per month, and in-home nurses are 3k per month. Yeah that’s a problem that no one could have prepared me for."
"Edit to add: I found my answers and my parent is cared for now, but the path leading up to the answers was a terrible and scary path."
– bophed
"Realising your parents are not the people you thought they were as you grow older."
– rockoboks
"It was only when I was older I realised just how hard my parents worked bringing us up. We would always be doing something - sailing, camping, walking whatever and as a parent it's just so time consuming and there's so much stuff to take when you have kids."
"I always loved my parents, but becoming a parent and then my dad's death made me appreciate what awesome people they both were (mum is still with us) and how much my dad taught me without me realising."
"I realised how incredibly lucky I was, and I've tried to live up to the man my dad was. I miss him so much still 18 years after he died."
"So, yes they aren't quite the people I thought - they are better even though I always respected and admired them."
– Christopherfromtheuk
"Or seeing them go through some sh*t. My mom went through cancer and is not the same person she was before - not even remotely. And now she’s a full-time caregiver for her partner, whose five children really need to step up and put him in a home where he will be safer, and my mom won’t be killing herself every day caring for him."
"I still love her and would do absolutely anything for her, but I miss my old mom."
– banoctopus
Adulting Is Hard
"The relentless admin of life."
– YPLAC
"100% what I came here to say! It NEVER stops."
"Dentist every six months, tax filings every year, remember to take the cat to the vet, send a birthday card to your in-laws, remember that your partner likes cheddar cheese (but not that brand!), vacuum the house (oh, look, it’s dirty again less than 48 hours later), argue with your WiFi provider over a price increase, do the laundry, adhere to the new low sodium diet the doctor recommended, contribute to the potluck at work, do your research before voting, pay the auto insurance bill…"
"None of it is big stuff. It’s just an absolutely relentless army of small stuff that kills your joy."
– banoctopus
"How much of your time revolves around eating and/or making food; cooking, washing dishes, cleaning sinks, even just selecting what to eat - so much damn time."
– johndoe15190
"Getting up every morning to go to work for decades does kill your soul."
– carptrap1
Noticing The Little Things
"Dust. There is dust everywhere. There is so much dust, and it accumulates so fast!"
– Ahasveros5
"I don't get it. I can swipe every surface, then vacuum & mop the floors twice. Turn around and there's a dustbunny in the corner. Where do they come from?!"
– Rare_Art5063
"And hair!"
"I'm constantly muttering to myself about how mammals are fucking disgusting creatures every time I'm cleaning our bathrooms, sweeping the floors and cleaning out the lint trap."
– disisathrowaway
When The Unexpected Happens
"Getting laid off."
"Everyone’s working, doing their thing, workload fluctuates and slows down after the pandemic. The expectation is for us to give two weeks notice when we leave but I’ll be damned if I didn’t get a six hour heads up that my computer would lock at the end of the day and my severance check would be in the mail in a week."
– clovisx
"Happened to me last year."
"A decade at the company, I was like employee 12 or 13 or something. Took a huge pay cut to join it, and busted my @ss to build it up and make it really successful. Missed out on so many events in my 20s to make sure this thing was a success. Eventually get rewarded as time goes on and ended up directly below the owners in the org chart and sat in that role for about 5 years."
"New owner (friend of the existing owners) joins, he's an investment banker with zero knowledge of our industry. I get moved under him. 5 months later, I'm called into a last-minute meeting out of the blue. He nukes half of my department and then says that because the department is now so small, they don't need me to run it and will be folding them under another senior staff member."
"I got the boot weeks before my equity vested. I had to process everything, grab sh*t from my office, and turn over all of my credentials in 3 minutes. Absolutely shellshocked on my entire drive home."
– disisathrowaway
Stress Of Mundanity
"Just how boring most things are. The days blur together and the next thing you know, your body hurts everywhere all the time and you can't remember yesterday. But you remember 40 years ago like it was yesterday."
– MyCheeses
"Keeping a job. There's that 'honeymoon' period once you start the job. But then as the days turn into months... And the months turn to years... You look in the mirror and say, 'Is this it? This is all life has to offer?'"
– Squirrelluver369
"The crushing realization that this is all there is and the crippling depression that follows."
"You spend years getting a degree. Or even if you are in college. Working on the side. You slowly realize and question what your doing. You go into a job. That at first. You really enjoy. But as the months turn into years and years turn into decades you're doing the same thing over and over and over again and it just gets boring."
"The pride you had in your job is long dead. And the thought that this all there is. Until you either die or save up enough to retire. But by the time you save up enough to retire you'll be too old to be able to enjoy much."
– The_Grim_Gamer445
Everyone's life path is different.
Because of this, there are no books about dealing with the day-to-day challenges or repetitiveness that come with adulting.
We just have to confront these changes all around us and come up with solutions to continue navigating through life.
Those are the things that help us grow and evolve as people.