People's Absolute Worst Food Poisoning Experiences

These Redditors never thought twice about what they were eating before realizing they were about to have a bad food encounter.

Bad Diner Chicken

"Fried chicken from a Kmart diner back in ‘97. Got it before a shift at my job, an hour later, explosive vomiting and diarrhea at my job . Those poor bastards."

– Graehaus

History Of Digestive Violence

"Improperly cooked and/or poorly sourced shrimp, in a Thai dish I usually love from our go-to takeout place. Last week. Minor case. Seattle."

"E. coli lettuce. 2005. Not as minor. San Mateo."

"Orange Julius. 1988. Required a trip to the ER. One night in the hospital. Prior to, I had no idea the human body could emit liquids with such sustained force and in such quantities. Great Falls, Montana."

– ifollowthisstuff

Microbial Passengers

"Egg salad sandwich from a truck stop. Ended up getting worms who transformed my body into a stronger person. But then my friends shrunk themselves down and got rid of them…"

– throwing_this_sh*t_

Red flags were missed here.

Hardly Boiled Egg

"I ate a questionable hard boiled egg and barfed so hard I slipped a disc in my back and couldn't walk for over a month. Eventually I had been away from my sh**ty retail job for so long, I had a full on meltdown at the thought of going back. I quit and got a way better job with more freedom, less stress, and decent pay for how little I work. It's awesome. That stupid egg changed my whole damn life."

– edie_the_egg_lady

Barely Frozen Pizza

"Frozen pizza that hadn't stayed frozen the entire time. My grocery store, that I no longer patronize, is very cheap and runs their freezers a bit too warm and has no problem tossing thawed or expired things back on the shelf."

"This pizza had odd ice crystals inside the plastic pouch that I had never seen before, that should have been the tip-off, but I baked the thing and it seemed fine before and after, like no discoloration or smell."

"But that thing came out both ends at around 2AM I barely made it to the bathroom."

– Kinetic_Kill_Vehicle

The Sadist

"Coconut shrimp from a Chinese place by my old place. Every time I went to that place, I got sick. Started going there to take a sick day. Still kept eating those tasty shrimps and getting sick."

"9/10, would eat those tasty little bastards again."

– Abadatha

Some were able to make it to the bathroom amidst their bowel distress.

Others, unfortunately, didn't.

Have It Your Way

"Burger King"

"me, my wife and 3 kids all fighting for one toilet."

– TrailerParkPrepper

"it's always burger king man 😭"

"one time I had a horrible ear infection and after I ate burger king i somehow ended up with a stomach infection as well."

"like what the F'K burger king. the smell of a womper gives me anxiety now lmao."

– beecycle

Emergency Stop

"It wasn’t food poisoning, but it was a bad time. We had gone about an hour away to a nice restaurant, and I knew the salad dressing wasn’t right- I even asked about it. They said it was fine, but not 20 minutes out, I had a problem. I have never before in my life felt like I was going to have no choice in the matter as to what was about to pass through my lowest sphincter. I pointed at a lone Walgreens that I knew was going to be my only choice at all between the points, and my husband stopped. I believe I uttered, 'Bathroom.'"

"It was almost closing, and I said nothing more as I left the car. I beelined to the bathroom and proceeded to experience my bowels expelling so much product with so much fluid I’m pretty sure I passed things I only thought about eating or drinking. I passed things my husband ate. I passed things I ate in other lives, in other realms, in other existences. For a brief moment, I defied physics and created matter from nothing. Every video I ever saw of oil being drained from cars, pipes being cleared of muck, and farmers towing old tires through backed up culverts flashed before my eyes. I had to flush out of fear of the pile getting too big. I was literally laughing at myself, which I am certain the kind workers vacuuming the hallway could hear- along with my underwater bassoon solo- as they patiently waited for me to leave, so they could close."

"It was probably 10:20 when I left that bathroom with as much pride as I could muster, patting the sweat off my brow as that smell followed me to the front of the store. Everyone avoided me, but watched from a distance with what I like to think was some sort of awe. I walked out, hearing the lock thrown behind me with speed and agility never before seen from a chain pharmacy employee, and briefly wondered if they thought that through- the door was the best way to remove the smell. I suppose having had twenty minutes to discuss it, they considered it more valuable to remove the creator of the smell than the smell itself. But I digress."

"I walked over to the car, my husband in the drivers seat, no real clue what was going on other than a 30 minute bathroom break. I opened the door, gracefully (but maybe slightly gingerly) got into the car, looked him in his concerned eyes, took his hands, and calmly said, 'Well, we can never go back there again.'"

– danceswithsockson

Rumbly In My Tumbly

"Not necessarily food poisoning, but I ate a pressed Cuban sandwich one time that ended up making me leave my underwear and shorts on a dirt road somewhere in Florida."

"Felt a rumbly in my tumbly while driving from Tampa to Destin and next thing you know I just sh*t all over myself. Thank god I happened to have a change of clothes."

– Emergency_Flounder58

Unpleasant Drive Home

"French Dip from Perkins in Blytheville, Arkansas around 2002."

"Was in town from 3 hours away for a job. Did job, grabbed lunch at Perkins."

"Started driving home. Mind you, there’s nothing but farms between Blytheville and home. Hour into the drive I’m sweating and not feeling great. Chalk it up to Arkansas heat and my sh**ty car’s sh**tier air conditioning."

"Feel a fart coming. Feels like a doozy, so being a man in my mid-20’s i give it some back pressure for bigger sound for a laugh."

"….annnnd i force-fed my pants a liter of liquid feces and had to sit in it for the remaining hot, humid 2 hours home."

"(Bonus: car was stick shift, so got to slosh my shame around every time i used the clutch)"

– Moist_When_It_Counts

After prom, I suggested my group of friends to go to a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant for some prime rib, and they were all in.

I was the only one who chose creamed spinach as a side while everyone else had mashed potatoes. I should've gone with the majority.

Something about my creamed spinach didn't taste right, but I figured a fancy restaurant could never serve up poor quality dishes.

I could've had a stomach flu, perhaps. When I got home after dinner, I immediately bee-lined over to the bathroom and projectile-vomited my fancy meal.

The worst part was when my older brother woke up from the sounds coming from the bathroom late at night and scolded me for underage-drinking when I had not been doing that.

Geez, kick a man while he's down.

Anyway, it was a great prom. The dinner, not-so-much.