Moment of honesty—I am straight up jealous of the fact that my toddler literally never wears pants and nobody cares.
She can march her chunky babybody into a grocery store wearing a unicorn t-shirt and some strappy sandals and people give her a cookie for it.
See what happens if I march my chunky almost-40-body into a grocery store in a t shirt, no pants, and strappy sandals...
Reddit user 2009Yaris asked:
"What does a 4 year old do better than a 40 year old?"
Um ... yeah. Exactly.
40 year olds can't get away with going pantsless in public anywhere near as often as the little ones can. Let's see what else the little ones rock at.
Dino-Ologists
"Remember the names of dinosaurs."
-jaggy_bunnet
"Every child is a dinosaur expert"
-THX450
"Once you turn 40 only one dinosaur becomes important the my-body-saur"
-insertstalem3me
GiphyAuthenticity
"Being themselves"
-Paused_Verdict
"The lack of self awareness is spectacular. 'Why should I care if I look like an silly as long as I'm having fun?' "
"This is pretty much literally true."
"This is the age when they're only just starting to really build a concept of other minds."
"So they don't care what other people think of them because they're only barely aware that other people are actually thinking beings like them."
-TheGazelle
Like Nothing
"Squat"
-Snuggle_Pounce
"Seriously, my toddler just hunkers down in positions I would have to fall to get out of... And she stays there for half an hour eating stuff out of the carpet, then gets up like nothing."
-emskem
"I’m not a parent but I’m trying to imagine just chillin’ on the couch, watching my toddler eat various bits of food out of the carpet for a half an hour like a weird Easter egg hunt."
-OG-Artifician
A Beautiful Friendship
"Make friends with people their age"
-CoolIceCreamCone
"Kid1: 'I have a truck' holds up toy truck.
Kid2: 'I have a car, it goes zoom zoom!'
Kid1: 'Zoom zoom!' Runs toy truck on ground.
The beginning of a long friendship."
-dorisfrench
Life
"Deal with the weight of existentialism."
-alegonz
"For real my middle son just turned 5 and he’s constantly talking about the heaviest sh*t. I’d short circuit if my mind was working on that all the time!!!"
-TeaEffKay4
GiphyCurious or Creepy?
"Ask 'why.' "
"Genuinely, so many people lose the curiosity they once had as children that it's sad. So many people just accept things but won't ask why to understand them."
-rudeprincessita
"In my experience, when you are too curious as you age people start to think you are too nosy or a creep."
"It can't be brushed off as 'just curious kid' things anymore."
"Some people really just don't want to share knowledge, even if it should be common, every day information that betters society."
-Smith6612
Cute or Brutal?
"Actually say what they think"
-caplisanne
"Some 40 yr olds are good at it, but it's usually not cute when they do it. It's usually just brutal."
-shall_always_be_so
Joy
"Smile and laugh"
-thatonePS3GUY
"This is for sure the answer. The joy my daughter feels at a new paw patrol episode is equal to me getting a $50,000 tax free bonus at work."
-executive313
Life Alert
"Fall over and bounce back"
-Nizmo57
"They either jump up immediately or lay there screaming like they're dying because they know you bought the spiderman bandaids last time you went to the store."
-PermanentTrainDamage
"Don't forget the yell " I ok' and thumps up"
-Busy_Role_291
"I'd need a Life Alert if I took the same fall I just watched my kid take - and then bounce back up and go right back to picking her nose."
- [Reddit]
GiphyIt's Called Emotional Range
"Be happy"
-Miiagl
"Debatable, 4 year olds are always crying."
-X0AN
"But at least they're crying on the outside."
-Diddly_eyed_Dipshite
"Ehh mine very rarely cries. Only when really scared, gets hurt, or really doesn't want to do something. Like 95% happy and 5% meltdown."
-squirrel4you
Oh!
So there's a loophole to the whole "strolling through the grocery store in a t-shirt, no pants, and sandals" thing.
Live near the beach! Nobody worries where your pants are if they can see that your t-shirt is over a bathing suit.
check. and. mate.
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